Try walking in these shoes...

To Curtis' dismay, our 19 month old son, Colby, loves to mimic everything his sister and I do. Therefore, he plays with dolls, carries a purse on his shoulder, pushes the babydoll strollers, wants to play with my jewelry and make-up... and likes to wear women's shoes. Above are some pictures of him - proud as punch - walking around the house in my shoes. I couldn't resist capturing the moment.

10 Things I Know Now (That I Didn't Know When I Was Childless)

I admit that before I became a mom, there were quite a few things I didn’t really understand about my friends who had kids. I didn't get why my friends never seemed to be able to talk to me on the phone for long, or why whenever we did talk, their kids were always screaming in the background; I didn't understand how people could let their kids dress in mis-matching outfits at church or around town (and truthfully, I still don't get that one); and I definitely was perplexed at how people could let their children walk around with dried snot under their noses for hours. The biggest misperception I had was why my friends had such difficulty coming to our house for dinner or wouldn't push back their child's bedtime by even 30 minutes so we could see each other. (I'd think to myself "Does one night really make that big of a difference? How much can it hurt to be 30 minutes late putting him/her to bed?"). Well, I have certainly learned a lot since those days of parent-less ignorance. I am now much more enlightened and have a lot more understanding and grace for other parents. I'd like to share a few things I have learned since I had my little ones:

1. Traveling with children is not easy. 

It takes many hours of packing and planning and food preparation just to get out of the house. Then there is the juggling of sippy cups, refills, snacks, drive-through lines and other treats just to keep the kids happy on the trip. Let's not forget the movies, toys, music, games and tricks that you must continually provide to ensure an enjoyable trip for all. And that is just to get to your destination! If you are traveling by car: once you have arrived, you will find it now takes three times as long to unpack the car as it used to before kids. (Remember the days of unpacking just your bag, your husband's bag and maybe 1 small cosmetic case? Now you will be lugging with you a pack-n-play, booster chair, diapers, wipes, sound machine, music box, special blanket and pillow for one child/ special pacifier and stuffed animal for another, toys, books, travel DVD player, baby spoons, sippy cups, jars of baby food, formula, bath toys, snacks, stroller, etc.). If traveling by plane: my greatest advice is to use a stroller or backpack for all children preschool age and lower. It will make your life so much easier!! We travel quite a bit and trust me; airports are no picnic with young children. Lastly, you must deal with how your children adjust to new environments, new beds, time changes, etc. Vacations are never the same once you have children!

2. How vulnerable you become. 

No one can ever tell you exactly what it feels like to hold your newborn baby for the very first time. Oh sure, friends will describe it, many books, songs and poems have been written about it, and your mom may try to ready you as well. But there is nothing that can prepare you for how truly vulnerable you feel when you hold that sweet baby and realize that you will never breathe again if you lost him/her. It is both terrifying and wonderful in the same breath. You feel the most happiness and the most sadness you could ever imagine in one blissful moment. I know that for me, it has lessened some but it never completely goes away. I live with the fear that I will never function as a normal human being, much less mom, again if I ever lost one of my children. I know people do... I just don't know how they do it? 

3. Relaxing by the pool is an oxymoron. 

Anyone who has children knows that taking them to the pool is not relaxing in any way, shape or form. And at least for the first 3 years of your youngest child's life, it will be the absolute opposite of relaxing for you. So if you are the kind of person who loves to get a suntan, read a book or take a nap by the pool... I suggest you do it as much as possible before you have kids, or plan an beach vacation with your hubby on occasion where you can truly relax (sans kids).

4. Schedules are important for children and sticking to them is necessary to maintain family happiness. 

Naps and bedtimes are much more important than I ever realized; and keeping your children on a schedule makes for a happier home. So... the next time your friend says she can't do something because it interferes with her child's nap or bedtime, be generous with your grace and understanding. She knows her child best and is only trying ensure an enjoyable time for everyone (including you!!).

5. Snot, poop, spit-up and vomit are not as gross as you think. 

Being that I'm not one to eat or drink after anyone, including my husband, unless I am desperate... you can only imagine that touching someone's snot, poop, spit-up or vomit immediately called for a hand-scrubbing followed by instant hand sanitizer. But once I had a baby - everything changed. I have wiped a stream of snot from my child's nose using my hands without thinking twice. I have worn spit-up on my outfit for hours before finally changing clothes (the smell fades after a few hours). I have had a child vomit all over me while I was kissing his cheek (and considering I am usually the "sympathetic vomiter" type... it was surprising I didn't vomit as well). And I'm pretty sure I've had poop on my hands, clothes and even hair at times. Moral is... I survived and I can certainly say the things I classify as "disgusting" these days have changed. Babies have a way of shifting your perspective... 

6. It takes A LOT of time to get even 1 child out the door - much less 2. 

Boy, did I underestimate this one in my planning. I thought if I had 1 diaper bag in the car always loaded and ready to go, I would be set. Let's just say it's a bit more complicated than that. Add breast feeding, a blow-out diaper, temper tantrums and lost pacifiers... and you're really behind schedule. The important thing with kids is to allow plenty of extra time - and then add 15 minutes on top of that.

7. How tired I would be - even after a good night's rest. 

Oh sure, I read how all new parents experience sleep deprivation so I expected it with a newborn. But now, with a 19 month old and a 3.5 year old, I thought those days were behind me. Think again! Chasing after a toddler and a preschooler, picking up all of their toys 10 times a day, playing referee to petty arguments, keeping the house clean, bathing 2 kids and putting them both to bed, and doing everything else it takes to run a household can be exhausting at times. I believed that after the kids went to bed I would have quality time to read my books, hang with my hubby and exercise. The truth is all I want to do after the kids go to bed... is go to bed myself! I know, I know... it's sad but true. Maybe I'll feel rested once they hit high school...

8. Just having an adult conversation without interruption or chaos is golden. 

I now understand why my friend's with kids weren't able talk on the phone when I called... there is literally something about holding a phone in your hand that causes your children to become as demanding and loud as possible. Nothing short of locking them out of your bedroom will solve the problem... oh, except getting off the phone (which is the last thing you want to do since you are probably craving adult interaction). So, learn to plan all of your phone calls around naptime once you have kids. You'll be too tired once they go down for the night...

9. Take lots of pictures and video... it all goes by too fast. 

When I first had Paisley, I didn't realize how quickly the time would pass. I thought I'd have plenty of time to capture that cute little sigh or the sweet coo's that she made in the morning, and I was sure I'd get her 1 year hand print done. You always think there will be time. But one day I woke up and she didn't do her cute little sigh anymore and I was just devastated I hadn't captured it on video. I learned a great lesson with that. Now I video or photograph anything I love that my kids do right away when he or she is doing it. There is no guarantee that they will do it again if I put it off... so I don't take any chances anymore.

10. My husband doesn't have to parent EXACTLY the same way I do. 

This is a hard one for me. Being the semi-"control freak" that I am sometimes... it's difficult to let go and let him parent our kids his own way. However, I have learned (and am still learning) that my husband can be a different kind of parent to our children than I am... and that's okay. As long as he and I agree on the important things (like discipline), he can teach them and play with them in his own style and they are only more well-rounded for it. And who knows - his way may at times be better than mine (but don't tell him I said that)!

Jingle the Elf

Meet Jingle. He is our "Elf On The Shelf".
If you don't know what an "Elf On The Shelf" is, let me explain. it is a Christmas tradition that many families celebrate and it includes a book and a stuffed elf that "flies" in from the North Pole around Thanksgiving and keeps an eye on your kids for Santa until Christmas Eve. He is magic, you see: Santa's little helper. The elf reports back to Santa if the kids have been good or bad... and he's always watching them (no matter where they go). Each night he flies to the North Pole to give his report to Santa and the next morning, he always appears in a different place in the house (with some parental help).

Paisley loves the adventure of finding Jingle Jolly Red, as she named him ("Jingle" for short). She has been very diligent in following the rules in the book, which include not touching the elf lest you ruin his "magic." But, boy is she tempted. She always ask us to lift her up so she can get a really close look at him. Neither Paisley nor Colby have gotten close enough to touch him yet. It helps a little that Jingle seems to pick high places to hang out each day so he's not in easy reach of little hands. Colby would definitely break Jingle's rules - given direct access.

Anyway, it is a really fun tradition that brings great joy to the whole family. If you don't have this tradition in your house and you have little children, I highly recommend getting one for next year. Go to www.elfontheshelf.com to order one or find out more information. 

I sincerely hope your elf brings your family as much joy as our little Jingle continually brings us!

My Favorite Things (Christmas Version)

Just a few of my favorite things at Christmas-time:
1) "Silent Night" sung acapella
2) A beautiful display of (tasteful) Christmas lights
3) The excitement in Colby and Paisley's eyes when they see Jingle (our Elf on the Shelf) each morning
4) Taking Paisley to pick out stuff for Operation Christmas Child and the Angel Tree
5) My house with all the lights out but our trees and garland lights - and a fire in the fireplace
6) Singing "Away In a Manger" to my kids each night
7) Shopping for my kid's gifts
8) Christmas carolers
9) Singing "Joy To The World" at the top of my lungs when I'm alone in the car
10) Tree lightings
11) Watching my girlfriends fight over silly prizes at my ornament party
12) Our annual Christmas dinner
13) Reading the Christmas Story on Christmas morning
14) Watching the joy in my children's eyes over little things like our snowman snowglobe and lighted ginger bread house
15) Looking forward to my children's excitement on Christmas morning
16) The smell of a live Christmas tree in the house

Reneging on the baby Jesus

As Christmas gets closer, I have found a new love and appreciation for one piece of the holiday decor. Every time I enter my family room, I find myself skipping over the lights and the adorable ornaments that have caught my attention so many times in the past, and instead being drawn to the nativity scene on my hearth. I admit that in the past I have taken this sweet piece of symbolism for granted. I would put it under my tree or on a shelf merely for decoration - never taking even 5 seconds to consider what it really means and why we put it out for Christmas. Oh, of course, I know the nativity represents the story of Jesus' birth and the true meaning of Christmas: I haven't forgotten that. Just singing the words of "Away In A Manger" and "Silent Night" can make me teary-eyed in a instant. Every bell I hear from the Salvation Army bucket or every child's request I pick off the angel tree at church reminds me that there is so much more to Christmas than Santa or gifts. God gave us his Son so we could be saved and know a better life... isn't that what we should be doing for others at this time of year: giving to those less fortunate; offering a hand to someone in need; showing love to those who love you and even those who don't. These are the things that God did for us so many years ago when He gave us the greatest gift and these are the things He would want us to do in celebration of Jesus' birth.  At least that's what I think, and when I look at my nativity scene I am reminded of that and so much more.

Our neighbors and good friends down the street were "given" an inflatable nativity scene for their front yard. It is definitely one of those situations where they are trying to embrace the spirit for which this gift was given... and put aside their lack of desire for displaying it. (They subscribe to the belief that inflatables in the yard are on the tacky side, but all of the children on the street (including their own) love it so much that they didn't have the heart to take it down.) Well, as you can imagine, Paisley just adores their "gift" and wants to go see Mary, the baby Jesus and the 3 wise men(s) (as she calls them) everyday. Last week, I mentioned the word "gold" in relation to the color of my nail polish, and she said (pointing to my toes) "yes, this one is gold, this one is myrrh, and this one is frankincense." Then she added, "Let's take the 3 wise men(s) in Carter's yard some gifts too". I asked her what she had in mind and she replied "Lollipops." 

So we did. 

We took Joseph, Mary, the baby Jesus and the 3 wise men(s) some Dum Dums. And she gave them to each one of them with such care and love... only she reneged about 10 minutes into it. I guess we really are all plagued by greed and desire. What can I say! My daughter is an indian giver to the baby Jesus. I guess of all people, He will understand. Thank goodness for forgiveness!

I was afraid of this...

It was bound to happen - I knew it was too good to be true. Ever since Paisley was born she has loved people in costume. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Elmo, or Disney characters - it really doesn't matter how big or who - she absolutely adores them. She even loved the inflatable "Shrek the Vampire" (as many of you may remember from our christmas card last year) that comes to our neighbors front yard each October. There is not much in this world that frightens Paisley. 

For the past 3 years, I have watched so many children scream and cry as they approached Santa or were placed on his lap... and I'd feel bad for their parents because I couldn't imagine having that situation. My biggest concern has always been how to get Paisley away from Santa Claus once her turn is finished. She just loves him so much that she never wants it to end. 

I had a feeling Colby might be different. His personality is clingier for one thing (I just love the way he holds onto me when we're out and about but it doesn't bode well for exploring new things). My next clue was that he gets frightened by things a little easier than Paisley does and is a little more cautious. And then there were those adorable characters at Disneyworld. He loved looking at them, but the moment they got too close or tried to hold him, he wanted none of it. So... I was dreading our visit to Santa Claus. It started out as I expected it would but he actually warmed up a bit. Here is some video for you to share in the experience:

Mama, my belly is getting bigger!

Paisley told me tonight that her belly is getting bigger. I look at it and it seems the same as always.

I said "What do you mean? Did you eat too much dinner?"

"No," she says " my belly is getting bigger. It's going to grow bigger and bigger and bigger... because I have a baby inside it. Tonight I'm going to have a baby."

"Oh." I say. Stunned. Where did she pick this up? Sure, I've had several pregnant friends over the past year and even her aunt had a baby in August but no one in our lives has been pregnant lately. I can't help but wonder why she is focused on this all of the sudden.

"Yes, and I'm going to have the baby tonight," she continues, "and I will name her Katie. I love her so much - my baby Katie."

And with that she walked away.

Interesting.

From the mouths of babes...

Happy Birthday, Kenny!

In honor of your birthday, here's a treat from the kids.

Enjoy!

In Memory of My Granddad

Today would have been my granddad's 91st birthday. He died earlier this year just after celebrating the big 9-0 with his 4 children, 7 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. He was a Presbyterian minister and many of you met him when officiated at our wedding, or when he baptized my children. He was always there for me when it was most important - and, actually, even when it wasn't so important. He was just there - plain and simple! I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to have shared such precious moments in my life with him and to have introduced him to his only 2 great-grandchildren... whom he absolutely cherished. The look of pride in his eyes when he spoke of Paisley or Colby, or when he showed them off to his friends at the retirement home, was something I'll cherish forever. I will do my best over the years to adequately convey to my children how much their great-grandfather adored them. I know I'll never do it justice, but I hope they will feel his love in my words. Paisley still remembers him and speaks of him occasionally. I hope she never forgets... although I'm afraid she will. He was a loving father, a proud grandfather and a doting great-grandfather. Above all, he loved the Lord and served him as much as anyone on this earth could. I feel confident that when he arrived in heaven, God embraced him and said "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" (Matthew 25:21) I know my grandmother was waiting with loving arms - probably saying "what took you so long!" It gives me great comfort to think of them up there together - there is no where else my granddad wanted to be. But I still miss him! Selfishly, I wasn't ready for him to go - I wanted more time. 

I would encourage you to take a moment to give someone you love a call today: a grandparent, a parent, an aunt. You just never know what tomorrow may bring.

In loving memory of William H. Boyd:

how I miss him so!

The Passing of the Paci

Paisley has decided (on her own) that she doesn't need her paci anymore. It wasn't really a decision so much as she just stopped asking for it one day and we stopped giving it. This has been more of a bittersweet event for me than I could have predicted. Let me explain why... 

When I was pregnant with Paisley, I was adamant I would never give her a pacifier. I made this decision based on countless articles I read in my MANY pregnancy books, magazines, blogs, etc. (I obviously had way too much time on my hands with my 1st pregnancy for the amount of reading I was able to do). The articles that swayed me claimed that giving a baby a pacifier might cause "nipple confusion" in a breastfed baby... and since I wanted desperately to breastfeed for a year, I did not want any of the above confusion for my little one. Skip ahead to the night after she was born in the hospital. I was having trouble sleeping with her in my room because I was so fearful of SIDS so I asked the nurse to take her to the nursery for a few hours allowing me some rest. The older, seemingly wiser, and extremely blunt nurse asked me if she was allowed to have a paci when she cried and I said (drowsily) "No, I don't want her to have nipple confusion" to which the nurse harshly replied, "Oh, that's bunk! You don't need to worry about that, she'll be fine". And in my exhausted and slightly startled state (the nurse was a little harsh about it), I caved and said it was fine to give her a pacifier.

Thus began a long love affair between Paisley and her paci. 

She absolutely adored that darn thing and it quieted her within seconds. I must admit, I grew to love it too. Paisley was a great baby and didn't cry often, but on the off-moment when she did get upset about something, that paci was always a sure and steady friend until I could feed her, change her or put her to bed. However, when she turned one... paci was TOO good of a friend and we had trouble weaning her off. She had that thing in her mouth for more pictures than not. And it only got worse... soon we couldn't go anywhere without it.

When she turned 2 years old, I decided it was fine that she had one because she'd be seeing her baby brother with a pacifier in his mouth and inevitably she'd want one too. Colby, on the other hand, was fine with one on occasion but really didn't prefer it for most of his infant life. In fact, it wasn't until I had pushed it on him so long that he finally began asking for it at 10 months (just before I was going to make his paci "disappear"). Yes, he too, decided it was his best friend. (Sigh). Now he's completely addicted and asks for it all the time. Here we go again...

The good news is that I had heard horror stories of kids in Kindergarten still wanting their paci and I feared Paisley might fall into that category. But we made some rules where paci was only allowed at bedtime, and we stopped giving it to her unless she asked for it... and all of the sudden she didn't ask one night... or the next... or the next. It was almost too easy... (almost)!

Here's the bittersweet part. I am thrilled on one hand - it was easier than I thought and pretty much a "non-event" - and I'm mourning on the other - does this mean she's not my baby anymore? The passing of the paci seems to have saddened me more than it's saddened her. I know I should just focus on the positive... her dentist will be thrilled; there wasn't any begging, pleading or tantrums; no heart-wrenching nights; and let's not forget that I don't have to search for that darn thing all over the house on a daily basis anymore and the world won't have to stop when we can't find it. Yet I have a 3.5 year old daughter who is growing up too fast and I can't stop the runaway train no matter how hard I try. The passing of the paci is symbolic to me of what is to come. In my eyes, she now seems so much older than her true age... and so much less of my little baby. I can see her with her first prom date. There she is leaving the house for college. I can envision her walking down the aisle to start her life with someone new. Here I am still clinging to her "babyness" with everything I have; and, for me, her pacifier played an important role in helping me do that. I will celebrate this exciting transition...soon. But for now I am going to mourn a bit.

Today, it's goodbye paci. Tomorrow, it's goodbye baby. 

Thanksgiving with "The Mouse"

We spent Thanksgiving this year at Disneyworld in Florida. It was Paisley's and Colby's 1st visit to Disney and, for me and Curtis - it was our 1st WITH kids. The best news is that we survived and even left with smiles on our faces. Paisley-rella, as we called her, had breakfast with the princesses Saturday morning. She was over the top with excitement! Cinderella, Snow White, Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty and Belle all in one room! What more could a little girl want?!

We packed our 4 days with character breakfasts, the Spectromagic parade, fireworks, a safari at the Animal Kingdom, a very cool production of "Finding Nemo: The Musical" which was done with amazing puppets (and one of my favorite things we did), a visit to the Lego Store in downtown Disney, as well as rides, junk food, swimming at the pool, Blizzard Beach and loads of fun! The kids were exhausted every day - not to mention their parents!
Thank you, Mickey and Minnie, for a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Our 5th Anniversary

Curtis and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary just before Thanksgiving. We were able to get a night away without the kids thanks to my mom and dad. It was a win-win situation... we got to celebrate adult-style (in other words - we didn't have to attempt an adult conversation over refereeing fights between Thing 1 and Thing 2... and we got to sleep in past 6:30 am). It was really, really nice! And mom and dad got to take the grandbabies to the OR Children's Museum and the Light Festival. Needless to say, the kids had a blast too!

In honor of our fifth anniversary, Curtis indulged me just a bit with something I've always wanted to do (at least since I was in college and watched that famous "Friend's" episode where Monica tries on a wedding gown and cries when she has to take it off...) - we had a wedding dress party (where everyone dresses in their wedding attire) with some of our closest friends. And yes, in case you are wondering... everyone invited either wore their original wedding attire, a white dress or a bridesmaids dress (suits or tuxes for the guys). It was great fun!

Time to decorate for Christmas

People like to decorate their houses for Christmas.

Some go overboard, there is no denying it. There have been rumors of people investing $500,000 or more on outdoor decorations (see pictures above and below). That seems just crazy to me. While I will confess to being a bit of a decorating addict, I wouldn't say I go overboard (but who actually admits that about themselves anyway)? I just love to decorate my house for holidays - not just Christmas, but for all of them (to my husband's chagrin). I have boxes and boxes of holiday decor for everything from Valentine's Day to 4th of July to Christmas. My favorite holidays (which coincidentally are also the ones for which I have the most decorations) are fall and Christmas. It just so happens that those are also the most time consuming (as I have WAY too much stuff, according to Curtis). 

I prefer to celebrate the "season of fall", instead of celebrating Halloween and Thanksgiving individually, for several reasons. First of all, I don't care so much for the choices in Halloween decor (they are rather creepy and there is something strange about hanging dead bones and evil spirits across my house as decoration). Second, it makes it last longer if I can put everything up in September and leave it up until after Thanksgiving. With a 3 year old and an 18 month old, I can barely get my decorations changed out on a timely basis, so it's nice to be able to spread out each changing of the "fluff". Plus, don't you think we all rush a bit too much through the holidays these days? I feel like Christmas decorations are on the shelves in Walmart in September now... wasn't there a time when we used to wait to decorate until after the previous holiday had passed? Several of my neighbors decorated their houses for Christmas before November 1st this year and I know that when we were in Disney last week - they were already playing Christmas music and decked out in wreaths and holiday evergreen. It was beautiful but where is Thanksgiving? It seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle.

So, this year I am grateful for time. Time to reflect and appreciate the moment rather than always rushing through. I promise to appreciate each Christmas wreath, and the twinkle of all of the lights. I promise to enjoy the music and sing at the top of my lungs in my car to my favorite Christmas carols. And I promise to not forget the TRUE meaning of the season - the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.

Ah... but for now, I am wading through box after box of Christmas decorations and wondering when the house will finally be back in order. Falalalala...lala...la...la.

Note: the pictures included in this article are not my house, nor do I know the owners of this holiday spectacle. Rumor has it the owner is a nice man with too much money who loves to decorate his house in $500,000 worth of lights and sounds for the rest of us to enjoy.