I admit that before I became a mom, there were quite a few things I didn’t really understand about my friends who had kids. I didn't get why my friends never seemed to be able to talk to me on the phone for long, or why whenever we did talk, their kids were always screaming in the background; I didn't understand how people could let their kids dress in mis-matching outfits at church or around town (and truthfully, I still don't get that one); and I definitely was perplexed at how people could let their children walk around with dried snot under their noses for hours. The biggest misperception I had was why my friends had such difficulty coming to our house for dinner or wouldn't push back their child's bedtime by even 30 minutes so we could see each other. (I'd think to myself "Does one night really make that big of a difference? How much can it hurt to be 30 minutes late putting him/her to bed?"). Well, I have certainly learned a lot since those days of parent-less ignorance. I am now much more enlightened and have a lot more understanding and grace for other parents. I'd like to share a few things I have learned since I had my little ones:
1. Traveling with children is not easy.
It takes many hours of packing and planning and food preparation just to get out of the house. Then there is the juggling of sippy cups, refills, snacks, drive-through lines and other treats just to keep the kids happy on the trip. Let's not forget the movies, toys, music, games and tricks that you must continually provide to ensure an enjoyable trip for all. And that is just to get to your destination! If you are traveling by car: once you have arrived, you will find it now takes three times as long to unpack the car as it used to before kids. (Remember the days of unpacking just your bag, your husband's bag and maybe 1 small cosmetic case? Now you will be lugging with you a pack-n-play, booster chair, diapers, wipes, sound machine, music box, special blanket and pillow for one child/ special pacifier and stuffed animal for another, toys, books, travel DVD player, baby spoons, sippy cups, jars of baby food, formula, bath toys, snacks, stroller, etc.). If traveling by plane: my greatest advice is to use a stroller or backpack for all children preschool age and lower. It will make your life so much easier!! We travel quite a bit and trust me; airports are no picnic with young children. Lastly, you must deal with how your children adjust to new environments, new beds, time changes, etc. Vacations are never the same once you have children!
2. How vulnerable you become.
No one can ever tell you exactly what it feels like to hold your newborn baby for the very first time. Oh sure, friends will describe it, many books, songs and poems have been written about it, and your mom may try to ready you as well. But there is nothing that can prepare you for how truly vulnerable you feel when you hold that sweet baby and realize that you will never breathe again if you lost him/her. It is both terrifying and wonderful in the same breath. You feel the most happiness and the most sadness you could ever imagine in one blissful moment. I know that for me, it has lessened some but it never completely goes away. I live with the fear that I will never function as a normal human being, much less mom, again if I ever lost one of my children. I know people do... I just don't know how they do it?
3. Relaxing by the pool is an oxymoron.
Anyone who has children knows that taking them to the pool is not relaxing in any way, shape or form. And at least for the first 3 years of your youngest child's life, it will be the absolute opposite of relaxing for you. So if you are the kind of person who loves to get a suntan, read a book or take a nap by the pool... I suggest you do it as much as possible before you have kids, or plan an beach vacation with your hubby on occasion where you can truly relax (sans kids).
4. Schedules are important for children and sticking to them is necessary to maintain family happiness.
Naps and bedtimes are much more important than I ever realized; and keeping your children on a schedule makes for a happier home. So... the next time your friend says she can't do something because it interferes with her child's nap or bedtime, be generous with your grace and understanding. She knows her child best and is only trying ensure an enjoyable time for everyone (including you!!).
5. Snot, poop, spit-up and vomit are not as gross as you think.
Being that I'm not one to eat or drink after anyone, including my husband, unless I am desperate... you can only imagine that touching someone's snot, poop, spit-up or vomit immediately called for a hand-scrubbing followed by instant hand sanitizer. But once I had a baby - everything changed. I have wiped a stream of snot from my child's nose using my hands without thinking twice. I have worn spit-up on my outfit for hours before finally changing clothes (the smell fades after a few hours). I have had a child vomit all over me while I was kissing his cheek (and considering I am usually the "sympathetic vomiter" type... it was surprising I didn't vomit as well). And I'm pretty sure I've had poop on my hands, clothes and even hair at times. Moral is... I survived and I can certainly say the things I classify as "disgusting" these days have changed. Babies have a way of shifting your perspective...
6. It takes A LOT of time to get even 1 child out the door - much less 2.
Boy, did I underestimate this one in my planning. I thought if I had 1 diaper bag in the car always loaded and ready to go, I would be set. Let's just say it's a bit more complicated than that. Add breast feeding, a blow-out diaper, temper tantrums and lost pacifiers... and you're really behind schedule. The important thing with kids is to allow plenty of extra time - and then add 15 minutes on top of that.
7. How tired I would be - even after a good night's rest.
Oh sure, I read how all new parents experience sleep deprivation so I expected it with a newborn. But now, with a 19 month old and a 3.5 year old, I thought those days were behind me. Think again! Chasing after a toddler and a preschooler, picking up all of their toys 10 times a day, playing referee to petty arguments, keeping the house clean, bathing 2 kids and putting them both to bed, and doing everything else it takes to run a household can be exhausting at times. I believed that after the kids went to bed I would have quality time to read my books, hang with my hubby and exercise. The truth is all I want to do after the kids go to bed... is go to bed myself! I know, I know... it's sad but true. Maybe I'll feel rested once they hit high school...
8. Just having an adult conversation without interruption or chaos is golden.
I now understand why my friend's with kids weren't able talk on the phone when I called... there is literally something about holding a phone in your hand that causes your children to become as demanding and loud as possible. Nothing short of locking them out of your bedroom will solve the problem... oh, except getting off the phone (which is the last thing you want to do since you are probably craving adult interaction). So, learn to plan all of your phone calls around naptime once you have kids. You'll be too tired once they go down for the night...
9. Take lots of pictures and video... it all goes by too fast.
When I first had Paisley, I didn't realize how quickly the time would pass. I thought I'd have plenty of time to capture that cute little sigh or the sweet coo's that she made in the morning, and I was sure I'd get her 1 year hand print done. You always think there will be time. But one day I woke up and she didn't do her cute little sigh anymore and I was just devastated I hadn't captured it on video. I learned a great lesson with that. Now I video or photograph anything I love that my kids do right away when he or she is doing it. There is no guarantee that they will do it again if I put it off... so I don't take any chances anymore.
10. My husband doesn't have to parent EXACTLY the same way I do.
This is a hard one for me. Being the semi-"control freak" that I am sometimes... it's difficult to let go and let him parent our kids his own way. However, I have learned (and am still learning) that my husband can be a different kind of parent to our children than I am... and that's okay. As long as he and I agree on the important things (like discipline), he can teach them and play with them in his own style and they are only more well-rounded for it. And who knows - his way may at times be better than mine (but don't tell him I said that)!
Thank you, Mickey and Minnie, for a wonderful Thanksgiving!
and arrived on the plane - they had NO idea - and by coincidence ended up sitting right in front of them. They were really caught off-guard (never expected the lady with red hair sitting in front of them to be Kelli's best friend) but welcomed us on their adventure with open arms. I'll do my best to summarize our 10-day vacation for you below.
The first day was mostly shopping and site-seeing... the highlight was probably the tour of the Guinness Brewery.
The 19 metre long inner passage leads to a cruciform chamber with a corbelled roof. It is estimated that the construction of the Passage Tomb at Newgrange would have taken a work force of 300 at least 20 years. What's really cool is that the people who built this must have built it in such a way that on December 21st (the Winter Solstice) each year the passage and chamber of Newgrange are illuminated by the winter solstice sunrise. A shaft of sunlight shines through the roof box over the entrance (the top hole you see in the picture above) and penetrates the passage to light up the chamber. The dramatic event lasts for 17 minutes at dawn on the Winter Solstice and for a few mornings either side of the Winter Solstice. This is the only time each year that this happens but the structure was built so that the sun would hit it perfectly to do this. We do not know the reason they did this, but it's amazing that thousands of years ago they knew how to construct a tomb so that it would light up on a certain day.
After we left Newgrange, we went to Glendalough because Curtis had heard it was a place that we simply had to see before we left Dublin. Glendalough gets its name from the Irish language. Gleann dá locha literally means the ‘Glen of the two lakes’. Situated right in the heart of the Wicklow Mountains National Park, Glendalough is one of the most visited locations in Ireland, with over 1 million visitors a year. It is a fascinating monastic settlement in a spectacular natural setting just an hour south of Dublin. The monastery was founded by St. Kevin, a hermit monk who died about 618 AD. The extensive ruins of Glendalough include several early churches, a graceful round tower, and various sites associated with the life of St. Kevin. There are also many hiking trails that allow visitors spectacular views of the entire park. "Lonely Planet Ireland" calls Glendalough "truly one of the most beautiful places in Ireland and a highlight of any trip to the island." I think we would all agree!
We spent the night on an Irish sheep farm and it was really lovely. Life on a sheep farm is so peaceful and it almost felt like we had stepped back into the past in some ways - if you looked around at the ancient rock walls and stone buildings everywhere. They had some beautiful white Connemara ponies on their property and, as you can see, and extensive amount of rock walls. This is not unusual - they were everywhere in Ireland. It's really an impressive sight to see these walls dividing the land all across the country. I continually found myself wondering how long it took the Irish people to build them all. That night, Curtis, Chuck, Kelli and I walked a short distance down to the ocean and had a few glasses of wine (and some shots of Bailey's) while we enjoyed the sunset and the beautiful scenery. It was a lovely evening.
This is where her great-grandmother was born and lived until she was 16, I believe. It is an amazing place. Not only is the land beautiful (right on the ocean) 
but the house is so quaint and small. It makes you realize how much we live with now... that people back then didn't even need or want. I was envious that Kelli is able to go visit a place where her ancestors lived. What a gift that is to be able to see it, touch it... really try to experience what their life was back then! I was so grateful that we got to tag along. See Kelli and I sitting on top of the house walls below.
The next stop was our hotel - the Ballynahinch Castle - where Chuck and Kelli dropped us off and we parted ways for one day. They headed out to Galway to see some more of Kelli's distant cousins (they saw a few in Dublin as well). We now had our replacement rental car so we headed out to hike some trails in Connemara National Park nearby.
Situated in the West of Ireland in County Galway, Connemara National Park covers some 7,300 acres of scenic mountains, expanses of bogs, heaths, grasslands and woodlands. Some of the Park's mountains are part of the famous Twelve Bens, but on this day we hiked only Diamond Hill. It was amazing with many gorgeous views. One view would be of the ocean, 
then you turn 90 degrees and your view is of a small forest area sitting by itself (reminded me of Sherwood Forest),
then another 90 degrees and you're looking at miles and miles of mountains and fields (which made me think of the movie "Braveheart" or "Rob Roy" - they could have been filmed here with such beauty everywhere) and then another 90 degrees would be bogs and marshland. Truly amazing to see! Needless to say, Curtis and I were so glad we had a chance to visit this park.
As we were standing on top of Diamond Hill Mountain, we could see a beautiful castle all the way down by the water
and we were intrigued by it. It had to be huge for us to be able to see it from so high up and it looked magnificent. We decided to try to find it on our way back to the hotel. As we were driving back (my mom will be thrilled with this next part), we saw a hitchhiker that looked like a really nice guy so we picked him up since he was headed our way. He was a very nice college kid from France who was doing his practical studies for the summer in Ireland. He told us about the castle we saw from on top of the mountain and since we were passing right by it, we all went there together. The name of it is Kylemore Abbey - the Monastic home of the Benedictine Order of Nuns in Ireland (not too shabby,
Our hitchhiker friend (whose name has escaped me) also suggested we go visit an abandoned castle in Clifden that we had missed on our visit there the day before. He said it was really cool and only a short hike to get there. So... after we dropped him off, we headed there.
A 10 minute walk along a seashore path takes you to Clifden Castle. The castle was built in 1815 by John D'Arcy, the town's founder, who was High Sheriff of Galway. Clifden Castle was built in a Gothic Revival style in the 18th century, about 1750. The house was only lived in for about 90 years before it was abandoned in the 1840's. Few photographs remain of this one time noble house but they can be seen in some of the local history books. The house fell into ruin and was stripped bare of anything that could be sold by the locals in order to feed themselves. You cannot walk through the house - the front entrance is inaccessible because of a steep drop into the structure and the back has been blocked off due to the decay of the castle. Yet it is beautiful to see and you can view the inside from standing at the doorway and looking around.
We ended our evening by heading back to Ballynahinch Castle, where we were spending the night.
We had about 2 hours to drive to get there (Kelli and Chuck had stayed elsewhere and were a bit closer). It was a beautiful day but as we approached the parking lot we could feel the temperature changing. The weather is quite volatile around the Cliffs of Moher and can be beautiful one moment and raining and cold the next.
And the wind is amazingly strong!! The Cliffs of Moher are one of Ireland's top visitor attractions. The Cliffs are 700 feet high at the highest point and range for 5 miles over the Atlantic Ocean on the western seaboard of County Clare. The rocky cliffs provide a precarious nesting site for the tens of thousands of seabirds. I have to say this was one of my favorite sites here in Ireland.
It is just breathtaking to see! All four of us decided to be brave and do what everyone says you "have to do" if you go to the Cliffs of Moher - which is to lay flat on your stomach and look over the edge at the 600 foot drop.
We took a video if you want to see what it was like (to view the video, just hit the play button on the box below.)
GOING...
...GOING...
...STILL GOING...
GONE!
Staigue stone fort is a partly ruined round stone fort. Dating is difficult, but the fort is thought to have been built during the late iron age, probably somewhere between 300 and 400 AD, as a defensive stronghold for a local lord or king. The fort's walls are up to 18ft high in places, 13ft thick and 90ft in diameter. The interior is reached through a small passage. The fort is surrounded by a large bank and ditch. Staigue Fort represents a considerable feat in engineering and construction. It was built without use of mortar, using undressed stones. There is evidence that copper was excavated in the surrounding area and appears to be a place of worship, an observatory and a place of defence. Here are some pictures of Curtis and I actually standing ON the top of the fort (which wasn't technically "allowed").
The Skellig Islands, Skellig Michael and Small Skellig, stand aloof in the Atlantic Ocean some 8 miles southwest of Valentia Island, County Kerry. From any angle, or from any vantage point on the nearby Ring of Kerry, they are spectacular pinnacles, which have magnetised viewers throughout all history – and beyond. These Skellig islands are world-famous, each in its own right: Skellig Michael is known throughout the
Curtis and I decided to take advantage of all the amenities that came with a stay at the Lodge and the first activity we did was to go for a bike ride around town. Next we decided to play a round of tennis on their grass courts...
that was a cool experience since neither of us had played on grass before. After that, we went for a ride in one of the hotel's vintage cars - 1936 Buick Roadmaster.
He took us down some country roads
and then dropped us off in town for a drink at a local pub. Since it was only a little over a mile back to the hotel, we walked back. We ended our evening hanging out in the hot tub and having a romantic dinner by the waterfall. It was a great end to a rough-starting day!
This includes the McGillycuddy's Reeks, the highest mountain range in Ireland which rise to a height of over 3280 feet. At the foot of these mountains nestle the world famous lakes of Killarney. Here where the mountains sweep down to the lake shores, their lower slopes covered in woodlands, lies the 26,000 acres, Killarney National Park . The distinctive combination of mountains, lakes, woods and waterfalls under ever changing skies gives the area a special scenic beauty. After driving through the park and an hour or so beyond, we ended up at our final destination - the world famous Dromoland Castle 
- where we met up with Chuck and Kelli (who spent the night in Killarney) and began our five star experience.
Also a famous baronial castle, she was the ancestral home of the O'Briens, Barons of Inchiquin, who are one of the few native Gaelic families of royal blood and direct descendants of Brian Boroimhe (Boru) High King of Ireland in the eleventh century. The hotel made a slight mistake with our reservation so to make it up to us, they upgraded our room to the Honeymoon Suite - which is the tower you see in these pictures (yes, the WHOLE tower). Our room was 2 stories high with gorgeous views and an amazing hot tub that had a rain shower above it. Let's just say we were LOVING it. The boys played golf during the day while Kelli and I had amazing spa experiences. And to end our night we had a romantic four course dinner at the castle's restaurant. It was the perfect way to end our trip.
