The Bump

I have to wonder what Colby thinks as he sees my belly growing bigger and bigger. Paisley is old enough to understand what's going on (to the extent that a 4 year old can understand that a human being is living inside my belly and one day will come out to live among us)... but Colby doesn't really acknowledge "the bump" at all. People ask him if he knows where mama's baby is and he points to himself. I ask him if he knows he is about to have a baby sister and he looks at Paisley - probably because she is his big sister and he cannot yet differentiate. 

Out of shear laziness and exhaustion last night - not to mention my husband's absence due to a meeting - I threw both kids and myself into our whirlpool tub for a group bath before bedtime. We were all needing to wash off after being at the pool and this seemed easier than leaning over the tub to wash them one-by-one... seeing as my belly is beginning to make even simple tasks such as these much more complicated. So, as we're sitting there splashing in the tub, singing "Splish, splash I was taking a bath" and making bubble beards on each other's faces... Colby curiously points at my belly with a smile. I look into his big, blue eyes and try to imagine what he could be thinking. 
Does he think I drank too much pool water?
Does he think I am bloated from eating too much dinner (and dessert) the night before?
Does he think I've just put on a few pounds? (okay more than a few)
Or does he think I've always been this way and he's just now noticing it for the first time?

I think the reality is there is nothing but curiosity behind those adorable eyes. I think he just likes how massive my belly appears as it floats between me and him in the tub... or how the bubbles settle on top like whipped cream on a pie. Maybe it makes a nice pillow when we cuddle. I know it makes a good ledge for him to sit on when I'm holding him. (We'll both miss that!)

I truly believe he has NO idea there is a baby inside there.
And what about when I'm cuddling with him at night and the baby gives him a swift kick in the stomach... I mean, this baby can throw a punch or two when she wants to and I know firsthand how strong it feels on the outside. She has even been known to knock the remote control off my belly with her kicks. So what does Colby think when he's quietly snuggling with me and all of the sudden gets a sharp jolt to his gut? Does he think it was me? And doesn't he wonder why all of the sudden my belly is packing punches his way?

Paisley, on the other hand, likes to rub "the bump". She is fascinated with the fact that the baby can hear her voice - she will talk to her many times a day and tell her all of the things she will do for her once she is born. It's really precious. Still, I wonder if she ever thinks about how the baby will get out of my belly. You think she would wonder about that - but luckily she hasn't asked me yet. (That will be some conversation, I'm sure!) Recently, she was concerned about the 3D ultrasound pictures I got because the baby looked so dark in there. She wanted me to turn the light on so the baby could see. Too cute. As a (very young) woman who will hopefully one day experience carrying and delivering a baby herself, I think it's wonderful that she is taking such an interest in all of the details. I want her to embrace her womanhood - especially the miracle of what her body can create and sustain - and to be proud that she has been gifted the right to fully experience it. 

I think "the bump" is a beautiful thing. I can't say I love the feeling of my breasts touching my belly per se... but I think there is nothing more beautiful than the miracle of life. A glowing, pregnant woman is proof positive that no matter what happens in the world, life truly does go on. I am sad when I realize I only have 7 (or so) weeks left pregnant. This is my last pregnancy and I can honestly say I will miss "the bump". In the same way, I am honored that God gave me the chance to experience it firsthand. Women may have to deal with periods, cramps, the pains of labor and menopause... but, in my opinion, we definitely get the best end of the deal. We experience the joy of feeling a miracle grow and move within us... we get to love someone before anyone else on this earth can touch, feel or see them... and we are blessed with a bond that is unbreakable. 

Now, that is a "bumpy" ride worth taking!