Hands

"We clasp the hands of those that go before us... as well as the hands of those who come after. In this moment, we enter the circle of those joined together in the dance of life."

(Curtis's hand is on bottom, then clockwise Whitley, Colby, Paisley and me.)

Welcome Whitley McKaye

Finally she has arrived!! We were blessed to welcome Whitley McKaye into our lives on October 27th. She is beautiful and perfect in every way and we are head over heels in love with her. We praise you God for your love and blessings in our life.

Colby and his bike

Well, I cannot imagine a more proud dad than Curtis. He is completely biased, of course, and always thinks his kids are super stars, but Colby's latest accomplishment really put him over the moon. As a true sportsman who loves biking and has talked incessantly (since the day they were born) about taking the kids mountain biking with him as soon as they are old enough, I don't think even he could have predicted what Colby would be able to do at 2 years and 5 months old. Paisley has been riding her bicycle without training wheels since August (she is 4 years old, mind you)... and Colby watches her and watches her and you can tell that he wanted to do it too. However, he would patiently ride her old bike with training wheels hoping for the day he was tall enough to ride her "big girl" bike. He'd ask everyday, but Curtis would simply respond "One day, Colby, one day you can do it too!"

Well, Curtis saw this look in Colby's eyes the other day as he was watching Paisley ride. He seemed to be dissecting inside his head how she was doing it all so Curtis decided to remove his training wheels and see what happened. Sure enough, Colby got on the bike, took off, found his balance pretty quickly and never looked back. Oh, sure... his stopping isn't very pretty, but he can ride in circles or straight and even change directions with no problem. He doesn't even want Curtis to run beside him (which gives me slight heart failure). Even I have to admit, it is impressive to see such a little guy riding his bike all by himself.

I'm sure it won't be long before he's jumping curbs and doing other tricks that I'd prefer he never learned.
Check out the video and see for yourself.

Praying for Sterling!

Please keep my good friend, Roger, along with his wife and little boy, Sterling, in your prayers. Sterling is 5 years old and I can still remember holding him for the first time when he was just a newborn. He was the sweetest little baby and holding him brought home for me the miracle of my own little blessing growing inside my belly (I was pregnant at the time and anxiously awaiting Paisley's arrival a few months later). Sweet little Sterling - whom God graciously placed in Roger and Becca's care to raise and to love - has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. They will know more about his condition as they continue to do tests on him over the next few weeks. Right now, it is a waiting game - and I know they need all of our prayers. As a parent with a child of nearly the same age, I cannot imagine the fear and helplessness they must be feeling right now. I pray that they will get strength from all those who love and are fervently praying for them. Their faith is amazing!

God, I ask that you comfort Roger and Becca and lift them up during this time. Carry them when they cannot move... love them when they feel anxious and unsure... reassure them when they are afraid. Place your loving, healing arms around Sterling. Give his young body the strength and ability to fight and to overcome. In your precious son's name we pray. Amen!

2 weeks and counting...

I know I haven't been the best blogger as of late. I have to blame it on nesting. I have been busy cleaning and sorting and planning for when my sweet baby girl arrives. We are at 2 weeks and counting (but remember, I'm always late so it could be 3-4 that we're looking at). I would be lying if I said there were not moments when I thought "what have I done?" - simply because life is going to be somewhat chaotic for a while and I know that. However, I am really excited to hold her and see her sweet little face and get to know her personality. Paisley cannot wait for her to arrive as well and asks me every day when she will get here. I wish I had an answer for her - we'll all just have to wait and see.

Come on out, baby girl - we cannot wait to meet you!

I will blog again (soon!)

So, I apologize for my absence in blogging. It's been a tough couple of weeks. Between my husband being gone for 8 days to Italy and being sick for the last week and a half with Bronchitus... all while 8+ months pregnant... blogging has been a low priority lately. I'll try to get a new post up sometime soon.

Maternity Photos

My friend, Jette, (who happens to be an AMAZING photographer) took some maternity photos of me. They turned out great, but I have a feeling Jette could make anyone look good. We had so much fun at the shoot - even the kids cooperated. 

Check them out if you have a sec.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2030219&id=1556383201&l=584ca4e657

Advice anyone?

So, after I mentioned it in my last blog post... it actually happened. I must have had intuition that this conversation was coming my way. I was walking Paisley to school this morning when out of the blue she asked me how the baby was going to get out of my belly. I was semi-panicked (because I hadn't thought through what I would tell her)... but I responded that I would go to the hospital and the doctor would help me get her out. 

She seemed satisfied at first... but after thinking about it for a moment, she said "Just like a chick hatches from an egg?" 

"Very similar," was my reply. 

Again, she was silent for a few minutes. Then she repeated, "So, how does the baby come out again?"

At this moment I saw her teacher and quickly changed the subject. And that is how we left it.

Now I've managed to put her off for a little while, but knowing Paisley this question will eventually re-surface. This is where all of you come into the picture. I'm asking for your advice. Even if you are a "Blurker" (a blog lurker who doesn't like to comment), I would appreciate if you'd click on the comment link just below this post (it's in blue) and offer your advice for how I should handle telling my 4 year old how babies are born. Any advice you can offer will be great!

Thanks in advance!

The Bump

I have to wonder what Colby thinks as he sees my belly growing bigger and bigger. Paisley is old enough to understand what's going on (to the extent that a 4 year old can understand that a human being is living inside my belly and one day will come out to live among us)... but Colby doesn't really acknowledge "the bump" at all. People ask him if he knows where mama's baby is and he points to himself. I ask him if he knows he is about to have a baby sister and he looks at Paisley - probably because she is his big sister and he cannot yet differentiate. 

Out of shear laziness and exhaustion last night - not to mention my husband's absence due to a meeting - I threw both kids and myself into our whirlpool tub for a group bath before bedtime. We were all needing to wash off after being at the pool and this seemed easier than leaning over the tub to wash them one-by-one... seeing as my belly is beginning to make even simple tasks such as these much more complicated. So, as we're sitting there splashing in the tub, singing "Splish, splash I was taking a bath" and making bubble beards on each other's faces... Colby curiously points at my belly with a smile. I look into his big, blue eyes and try to imagine what he could be thinking. 
Does he think I drank too much pool water?
Does he think I am bloated from eating too much dinner (and dessert) the night before?
Does he think I've just put on a few pounds? (okay more than a few)
Or does he think I've always been this way and he's just now noticing it for the first time?

I think the reality is there is nothing but curiosity behind those adorable eyes. I think he just likes how massive my belly appears as it floats between me and him in the tub... or how the bubbles settle on top like whipped cream on a pie. Maybe it makes a nice pillow when we cuddle. I know it makes a good ledge for him to sit on when I'm holding him. (We'll both miss that!)

I truly believe he has NO idea there is a baby inside there.
And what about when I'm cuddling with him at night and the baby gives him a swift kick in the stomach... I mean, this baby can throw a punch or two when she wants to and I know firsthand how strong it feels on the outside. She has even been known to knock the remote control off my belly with her kicks. So what does Colby think when he's quietly snuggling with me and all of the sudden gets a sharp jolt to his gut? Does he think it was me? And doesn't he wonder why all of the sudden my belly is packing punches his way?

Paisley, on the other hand, likes to rub "the bump". She is fascinated with the fact that the baby can hear her voice - she will talk to her many times a day and tell her all of the things she will do for her once she is born. It's really precious. Still, I wonder if she ever thinks about how the baby will get out of my belly. You think she would wonder about that - but luckily she hasn't asked me yet. (That will be some conversation, I'm sure!) Recently, she was concerned about the 3D ultrasound pictures I got because the baby looked so dark in there. She wanted me to turn the light on so the baby could see. Too cute. As a (very young) woman who will hopefully one day experience carrying and delivering a baby herself, I think it's wonderful that she is taking such an interest in all of the details. I want her to embrace her womanhood - especially the miracle of what her body can create and sustain - and to be proud that she has been gifted the right to fully experience it. 

I think "the bump" is a beautiful thing. I can't say I love the feeling of my breasts touching my belly per se... but I think there is nothing more beautiful than the miracle of life. A glowing, pregnant woman is proof positive that no matter what happens in the world, life truly does go on. I am sad when I realize I only have 7 (or so) weeks left pregnant. This is my last pregnancy and I can honestly say I will miss "the bump". In the same way, I am honored that God gave me the chance to experience it firsthand. Women may have to deal with periods, cramps, the pains of labor and menopause... but, in my opinion, we definitely get the best end of the deal. We experience the joy of feeling a miracle grow and move within us... we get to love someone before anyone else on this earth can touch, feel or see them... and we are blessed with a bond that is unbreakable. 

Now, that is a "bumpy" ride worth taking!

Colby's first day of 2 year old preschool

Colby went off to his first day of 2 year old preschool today. It's more a combo of Mothers-Day-Out and preschool but he will be learning, reading, singing and playing so it's all good. I love his teacher - Paisley had her two years ago as well. She is an amazing, loving woman that God has blessed with the gift of teaching and the ability to love toddlers!! Anyway, as sad as I am to see him growing up before my very eyes, I am happy to see how much he loved going to school today. And no matter what - I can rest easy knowing he is in such good hands!

Here's a poem for Colby's first day:
"Whose Child Is This?" by Anonymous

"Whose child is this?" I asked one day
Seeing a little one out at play
"Mine", said the parent with a tender smile
"Mine to keep a little while
To bathe his hands and comb his hair
To tell him what he is to wear
To prepare him that he may always be good
And each day do the things he should"

"Whose child is this?" I asked again
As the door opened and someone came in
"Mine", said the teacher with the same tender smile
"Mine, to keep just for a little while
To teach him how to be gentle and kind
To train and direct his dear little mind
To help him live by every rule
And get the best he can from school"

"Whose child is this?" I ask once more
Just as the little one entered the door
"Ours" said the parent and the teacher as they smiled
And each took the hand of the little child
"Ours to love and train together
Ours this blessed task forever."

Preparing for Labor & Delivery

I have been preparing these past few weeks for Labor & Delivery. Granted, I'm still 8 weeks away (more if you consider Paisley and Colby both went WAY past their due dates), but I have decided to devote as much time as I can to preparing for this L & D. This devotion comes mostly from the desire to have an easier birth experience than my last one.

Paisley, my first child, was 10 days overdue when the doctor told me I had to be induced because my water was getting low which was a danger to the baby. I went to the hospital that night, was given a dose of cervadil and woke up early the next morning in active labor. Total labor time was 13 hours which is pretty good for a first baby. She was a small baby, and while it was painful it was definitely manageable pain and I would welcome another L & D experience like this one if given the choice.

Colby, on the other hand, was not so easy to birth. He was 7 days late and perhaps it didn't help that everyone told me time and time again how EASY my second child would be in L & D and that he would just pop right out. I should never have believed them!! I'm sure it's true for most people that each consecutive labor gets easier... but Colby was quite the opposite. Once again, the doctor sent me to the hospital one night to be induced (again low water issues) and they gave me the cervadil which kicked me into labor - this time waking me from sleep in the middle of the night. He was a big baby and descended down while pressing on a bone or nerve that caused me great, great pain with every contraction. This labor lasted 13 hours as well (so much for the quicker 2nd L & D) and I can honestly say I've never felt such excruciating pain as I did that day. I honestly lay there thinking I would adopt my next child - or at least consider an epidural.

So... with this knowledge I am praying for a different outcome, but expecting our 3rd child to arrive late as well and for the doctor to tell me I once again have to be induced. (Sigh!) However, I have been walking an hour each day as well as swimming 25 laps in the pool daily in the attempt to help my body do what it's supposed to these last few weeks to prepare for L & D. I am doing pelvic tilts and squats on a regular basis and I am mentally telling myself that this labor will be easier (isn't there some saying about "mind over matter"?) I am hoping to continue the walking right up to my due date - and come October, if I have to walk 4 hours a day (or even hoe my entire backyard) to get this baby to come on her own... I am prepared to do so. Of course, my first prayer is that she is healthy. My 2nd prayer is that she comes on her own (i.e. no induction). My 3rd prayer is that she is a small baby like Paisley (looking that way so far) and that she comes descends and births easier than Colby did. And my final prayer is that Dr. D (my favorite ObGyn) is on duty to deliver.

I keep telling God that I know this is a tall order, and I should just focus on the healthy baby/ healthy mama angle... but I figure it never hurts to ask. He does care about our every desire!!

Well... I'm off to swim my 25 laps for the day. I sure hope I don't end up with chlorine hair!

Itty Bitty Perceptions (in the eyes of our children)

So... apparently, our children think that Curtis and I do not work. It's actually mostly true for me - I am a stay-at-home mom so I do not go to a conventional job everyday. Curtis, on the other hand, has a great job but his company is between products to sell so he has been blessed with a flexible schedule that has allowed him to spend more time playing than working this summer. The 2 conversations below show Paisley and Colby's perceptions of "work", most likely based on observations over the past few months.

Curtis: "Paisley, would you like to go to work with me one day?"
Paisley: "That's silly, Daddy. Don't you know that girls don't work??"

--------

Colby: "Mama, where's my Daddy?"
Lisa: "He's working."
Colby: ""Is Daddy golfing while working?"
Lisa: "No, Colby. Daddy doesn't play golf for a living... he works at a computer and talks to people on the telephone all day long."

Sorry to disappoint them both. And believe it or not, I never told Paisley that women don't work. I actually have no idea what gave her that idea!

Hope you have a wonderful day today!

Paisley's "Fancy Nancy" birthday party

Better late than never - here is a recap of Paisley's 4th birthday party:

This year for her birthday Paisley decided to do a "Fancy Nancy" themed party. She loves to dress-up and get her nails painted so this seemed very appropriate. I decided to do the invitations myself, and they really turned out cute. Thank goodness she cooperated for a picture.
Each little girl was invited to "dress fancy" and then they were treated to manicures and fun hairdos so they would feel really special. They ended the party with a runway show for all of the parents - it was so adorable. I printed out a Fancy Nancy autograph sheet and they all signed their names to it. I think I'll put it in a scrapbook or frame it for Paisley so she can remember who came to her party.

They had cupcakes and parfait with sprinkles on top for their treats... and drank pink lemonade out of teapots and tea cups.

Party favors consisted of these little tin purses with each little girls name on it - stuffed with a pink and purple boa, a posh pampering set (i.e. nail polish, lip gloss, a file and some purple Q-tips), and some fancy candy.

Here is a picture of all the little girls after the runway show - dressed all fancy. The next picture is of Paisley and her best friend, Kiira (a very fancy girl indeed).

Next is a picture of Paisley with her good friend, Riley; and finally, it was time to hug goodbye.
What a fun party!!

3D Ultrasound - the miracle of technology!

I had a 3D ultrasound of our sweet babygirl today. She reminds me of Colby because she loves to lay her head on my placenta like a pillow - and Colby did that for his 3D ultrasound too. She was sucking on her feet and hands so I think she'll be into paci's too. And these pictures remind me of Paisley and Colby's 3D ultrasound pictures - so maybe she'll look like her older brother and sister. Paisley asked me "Why is she so dark?"... hard to explain ultrasound technology to a 4 year old. I just told her it was dark inside mama's belly. She said we should get some light in there so she isn't afraid of the dark. Cute!

Check out the pics and decide for yourself. The first one below is a close-up of her little foot.

And in this last picture below - one of her hands is beside her face (on the left of the picture) and you can see her little fingers spread out. The other arm is going across her mouth like she's trying to clasp her hands together. So cute!!

Happy 4th Birthday, Paisley!

I'm a little late in writing this (37 days to be exact) but better late than never, right? I try to write a letter to each of my children on their birthday as part of my gift to them. It's my way of sharing who they are and how I feel as I watch them grow each year. So, this letter is in honor of Paisley's fourth birthday.

Dear Paisley,
Happy 4th birthday, sweet pea. I am amazed every day when I think about the fact that I have a 4 year old now. Has it really been that long? It seems so recent that I was holding you for the first time and I can still remember vividly how in love I was with you the first time I laid eyes on you. I can tell you one thing: my love for you has only grown stronger over the years.

I'd like to tell you a little about yourself at age 4:
First of all, you are such a bright light to so many that know you. Your teacher last year told me that if you ever went missing, I could find you at her house. She loved your sweet spirit so much - and so do your Daddy and I. All of the kids in your class were given an award at the end of the year - and your award was "Miss Generous". She said that you are always willing to help others and give a generous word. The other teachers in your preschool hut all know you well because you always had a compliment for them as you'd wait in the carpool line (i.e. "I love your hair today." "Blue looks really pretty on you."). You have made me smile so many times by hugging me and telling me what a pretty smile I have or that you love the way I wear my hair. I hope you never lose that sweetness of spirit.

You are also strong-willed. You march to the beat of your own drum and no one tells you otherwise. No one is going to convince you of something if you don't want to believe it. You are a perfectionist and will throw something away or destroy it in frustration if it is not exactly right or how you pictured it. You love to draw and paint - and Nana and I think you are quite the artist. We may be biased but you really are pretty artistic for your age. You sing all of the time. You love to sing in the car (in fact, we play the same VBS CD every day and you never get tired of it), on the potty, at dinner, while you are playing or drawing, etc. You even make up your own words sometimes.

You are so close to reading - and can actually sound out quite a few words already. It's very cool to watch. I know it's just a matter of time before you are reading books to me (instead of me reading to you). Your favorite books lately are "The Giving Tree", "Once I ate a Pie", "Fancy Nancy" (any of them), and a Usborne collection of children's bible stories we have. You still love to learn and pick up on things so quickly. I hope that is one quality that you do not outgrow.

You take gymnastics, swimming and soccer. I am sure you get your athletic capabilities from your dad! Our hope is not that you are the best but that you love being active because it will keep you healthy and strong all of your life. I'd love for you to take dance lessons one day but we'll wait a little while for that. I don't think you're ready for something so structured. (In fact, when you played soccer last year - it was all I could do to get you to participate... you'd rather do your own thing).

You love to cook with me, Nana and Grandma. And you love to play dress-up: both with your friends and with your dolls. If you are not dressed up like Cinderella or Ariel, then you are in your flannel pajamas (no matter how hot it is outside) with your fuzzy socks on. You crack me up!

Some of the things I love best about you are how you love to hold my hand and cuddle. You ask me to sleep with you every night, and even though I don't... I secretly wish that I could. I love that you watch how I do things and you try to do them exactly the same way. You are very excited to be a big sister again - you knew I was carrying a baby girl from the very beginning and you love to share it with everyone. You rub my belly and talk to her all of the time. You tell everyone that your baby sister will be here in "Octember" (we're working on not merging October and November together). You are already so helpful with Colby. You really love him and play with him well (it wasn't always this way but you have blossomed into a wonderful, loving, protective big sister), I can't wait to see you with your baby sister!!

Paisley, I just love you so much. I want you to know that you make me happy every day when your sweet voice wakes me up. I love our time together when we make your bed, put together a puzzle, or sing and dance. You are a special young lady and I'm so proud that you are mine. I love you with all of my heart, babygirl!
Happy 4th birthday!

From the mouths of babes!

Just a few fun things Paisley has said recently:

1) When you ask her how old she is now, she'll hold up 4 fingers and say "four". After a short pause, she'll hold up all 5 fingers and say "And next year, I'll be a whole hand."

2) My mom (Nana) was telling her a story the other day and Paisley said she wanted the plot to be about them swimming together. Nana said "Paisley we haven't been swimming together very much - I don't have any stories about that" to which Paisley replied "Silly Nana, stories don't have to be real. Don't you know that?"

3) Some friends of ours were visiting us the other day and she was holding her doll, Allison, while talking to them. My friend, Bethany, inquired about Allison.
Is she Paisley's best friend? "Yes, she is." Paisley replied.
Would she be eating lunch with us? "Yes" again.
Would she be going swimming with us after lunch? Another "yes".
And lastly, does she wear sunscreen too? To which Paisley very plainly stated, "No, she doesn't wear sunscreen - she's not real, she's just a doll."
(Duh, Mrs. Bethany - couldn't you tell? haha)

4) Paisley has a skirt that she got for her birthday and she likes to wear it as a strapless dress (see picture below). I keep telling her it's a skirt, but she doesn't seem to care. Today, she put it on and I informed her again that it was a skirt - not a strapless dress. (Might I also add here that it falls down all of the time because she doesn't have the "chest" to hold it up.) Anyway, as I was pointing out to her that it was really a skirt and she shouldn't wear it the way she was wearing it because it didn't fit her - she said, but Mrs. Megan wears it this way. My friend Megan lives near us, but I was racking my brain to remember when she has seen her wear a strapless dress. I feel like it's been weeks and weeks ago. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes... she wears one that goes to her toes and it has a bow on the front just like mine. Suddenly, I remembered that Megan does have a strapless dress that is floor-length that she occasionally wears. I was musing over how good Paisley's memory was when she asked me... "How does Mrs. Megan keep her skirt up? How does she keep it from falling down like mine does?" Hmmm... perhaps that's another discussion for another day.

Update on the baby

Well, we had our follow-up ultrasound this morning and we want to thank everyone for their prayers and support along the past 8 weeks. We are praising God right now because all 4 of her cysts have disappeared and she was measuring the correct weight and size for her due date. Also, there did NOT appear to be any abnormalities at all - so as far as we know she is perfectly healthy!! SUCH wonderful news!! We cannot thank you enough for all of your prayers over both our anxiety and her health. We are so excited to know that she has finally been given a clean bill of health (of course, the Dr. reminded me that there are no guarantees but we feel secure with it now). I no longer need to see the high risk Doctor assuming all continues to go well. Yeah! I feel such a huge relief off my shoulders now. And every kick inside of me feels so much better than even yesterday's did.

On a side note, while we were there we did ask them to confirm that she is indeed a girl and they said that they are 99.99% sure she is - so it looks like Paisley and Colby will definitely have a baby sister.

Guess that's all I have to update today.
Have a blessed day!

Freedom is bittersweet

Today, the kids went to visit my parents for 5 days. As liberating as it is to have some time to myself, I still found myself overcome with sadness as I watched them drive away. I'm so used to having them around every day that I don't really know what to do with myself... at least when it comes to days of unlimited free time.

At 28 weeks pregnant, I am feeling the "nesting" urge a little bit so I imagine I'll be knocking out some projects I've been dying to do and hopefully get some exercise in as well. But, as I write this, it still feels like the house is too quiet and peaceful right now, almost eerie in a way. I guess the chaos really does grow on you after a while.

No sense procrastinating... as much as I love blogging, I should go get started on some of my home projects. No time like the present, and besides... before I know it, they will be back here destroying the (currently clean) playroom, wanting me to hold them both as I try to make dinner, demanding my attention while I'm on the phone or computer, and fighting over who gets the blue popsicle.

Ah, life is good!

Lance Armstrong - watch out!

This morning, Curtis took Paisley to get a new bike. She has outgrown her "beginner's bike" and Colby is now riding it (yes, complete with pink and purple paint, a girly basket, a princess bell and some pom-pom fringe on the handlebars!). Don't worry, he'll get a more masculine bike one of these days!

As much as I had hoped she pick another girly one - I could not have been more wrong. Curtis, on the other hand, hoped for a cute red bike... which would have been better than the one she chose, but no, Paisley had her own ideas (surprise, surprise). She decided that she wanted an orange bike that looks like it's meant for mountain trails and dirt biking - not taking your Itty Bitty Twin dolls for a leisurely afternoon ride up and down the street. As much of a TN Vols fan as I am - even the orange paint bothered me. It just looks like a little boys bike - there is nothing feminine about it. But hey, it is her bike and that's the one she chose. What's important is that she's happy and willing to move to a bike with no training wheels - this is a big day in our family.

The most exciting thing is that she actually came home and rode it without training wheels all by herself - several times. It was truly a momentous occasion in our household. Even some of the neighbors came out to cheer her on! Sure, she was tipsy at times and Curtis ran beside her like a good dad to catch her if she fell... but she did it. She balanced on two wheels all by herself. I was so proud of her - she did really great. With a little practice, I imagine she won't even need Curtis along side for backup much longer.

Great job, Paisley!

Gratitude Wednesday

Tonight, as I prepare to lay my head down to sleep, I am so grateful to God for the following 5 things:

1. Cousins - my brother and I were the oldest of all of my cousins by quite a few years, and we lived a good distance away from them as well... so I never knew the luxury of growing up with cousins to play with all of the time and share adventures, stories and friends, etc. like many children get to experience. Well, earlier tonight I sat back at the pool and smiled as I watched my children play with their cousins who live only a few miles away and are literally 1 year apart in age. I feel sure that they will grow up loving each other, going to concerts, having sleepovers, sharing friends, going on family vacations together, learning from one another, and yes, probably even getting into trouble. I thank God that they will get to have those experiences. What a blessing to be so close in age and only a few miles away.

2. Baby kicks - this baby girl inside of me kicks up a storm. I can't say for sure if she is my most active (Colby was quite a kicker in the womb too) but she is definitely in the running. Maybe it's because she's running out of room, but I feel like she does somersaults in my belly all day long! Whew - she may not be tired, but it exhausts me just thinking about it. She actually kicked me so hard last night that the remote control sitting on my belly popped up in the air and fell to the ground. Still, it is reassuring to feel her so much and be reminded that she's always with me!

3. Beautiful morning walks - I get an hour each morning to myself to take a walk and it's been so beautiful outside. It hasn't been too hot and I've really enjoyed my unusually pleasant July morning walks (normally, July in Atlanta is sweltering even by 8 am).

4. Peaches & Cherries - It's that time of year (and it only comes for a few months) where peaches and cherries are at their best. I'm sure my grocery bag boy thinks I'm nuts when he sees the amount of each that I buy each week... but I have to enjoy them while I can! I think I ate 8 peaches and a whole bag of cherries for snack today - that might be a little overkill, but it's healthier than chips, right?

5. My kids & bedtime - I should knock on some wood as I type this, but I feel so blessed that my kids go to bed every night with no fuss. I hear stories of kids who come out of their rooms a million times asking for water, stuffed animals, whatever they can think of, etc. and tonight after I put them both down and it was quiet almost immediately, I thought how lucky I am that they don't do that. They truly go to bed almost immediately and with no problem every night. I don't know if we did something right or if we are just blessed... but for now, I will just enjoy it and hope it stays this way.

Sleep tight everyone and be sure to thank God for at least 5 of your many blessings before you do!

Happy Birthday to Us!

Our family got a new toy in honor of my birthday! Lots of people in our neighborhood have golf carts for going to the pool, tennis courts, dinner at a neighbor's house, etc. It's so fun! Anyway, above is a picture of ours - the kids and I loaded up for the pool as soon as it arrived.

Also this week, we had a low-key family celebration for Paisley's birthday with the ceremonial cupcake in blue icing (her favorite color). Her party is this upcoming weekend so we'll do it bigger then. Besides, she thinks the golf cart is her gift too! :-)

Happy Birthday to us!

Good lab results!

I went to the doctor yesterday (just my regular prenatal check-up). It was time for my glucose screening test to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. The nurse just called and all of my results were normal - no diabetes and no anemia. That's good news. I can't imagine having to be on a sugar-free diet while pregnant - that seems so cruel! 

My next appointment is July 24th. I will see both of my doctors that day - the perinatologist will do a follow-up ultrasound to monitor the cysts that the baby has on her brain (and hopefully they will have disappeared or reduced in number), and afterwards my regular OB will do my normal prenatal check-up and discuss my results. 

Then I will start going every 2 weeks for a check-up until 36 weeks when I'll go once a week. Not sure how often I'll continue to see the perinatologist, but I'll know more after the 24th. Between the kids dental/ doctor/ etc. appointments and mine, it feels like I might be living in the doctor's office for the next few months. (sigh)

Third trimester - here I come!

Fun on the Fourth

We had a great Fourth of July! Paisley was in her first parade - they were the Mighty Martians. Daddy went along for moral support.

Colby was too young to be in the clubs so he wasn't able to participate but he loved watching everything from Nana's lap.
 

Hope your fourth was delightful too!

All Things American

With the 4th of July approaching, I can't help but be excited! I love all things related to this patriotic holiday! As a child, I welcomed the fourth of July most summers at my granddad's cabin in the mountains in NC. This small community has celebrated this day in good ol' homespun fun for years. The morning begins at 7 am with a community 5k. This is followed by a rinky dink parade that is loads of fun for the kids (most of the parade participants are retired senior citizen residents and their families, children and counselors that are there for the summer camp program, the local veterans association, the Presbyterian bagpipe association, random walkers and, of course, the fire department). Everyone in the parade is dressed in their all-american attire, waving their US flags and throwing handfuls of candy to the delight of all the children watching this lovable spectacle. The parade is followed by a BBQ picnic for the whole town, a greased pole climbing contest, 3-legged races, paddle boats and canoe rentals on the lake, family reunions, and much, much more! The evening is topped by a square dance held under the moonlight on the tennis courts - the whole town comes out and either dances or socializes - and it's undoubtedly my favorite event of the day! Lastly, if your kids are old enough, you can head 10 minutes to the next town over to watch a fireworks display over the water. 

It really is dinky but I wouldn't miss it for the world! I have such fond memories of coming up for this each year during my childhood... that I have dreamt about the day my kids would get to form their own happy memories surrounding this holiday in NC, too. This won't be their first year doing this but at 4 years old, I expect Paisley to take great delight and enjoyment in it all more than before.

Anyway, to celebrate this patriotic holiday, I've decided to make a list of all things american. Feel free to add other great american things I may have missed in the comment section:

The Grand Canyon

The Great Smokies

Baseball

College Football

Tailgating

An old chevy truck

Cowboy boots

Stars & stripes

Marilyn Monroe

Hollywood

Apple Pie

Elvis Presley

Rock & Roll

Faded Jeans

State fairs

Big Red chewing gum

Hot dogs

Michael Jackson

Roller Coasters

Fried Chicken

Independence

Happy Fourth of July all!

 

More about Trisomy 18

Thank you for all of your kind thoughts and prayers for our baby girl (we will name her eventually, I promise!). It has meant so much to me to know that her health is being lifted up to the Lord by so many friends. I know that God hears every one of your prayers on her behalf and He above all can protect her and love her better than any of us can here on earth.

Several of you have asked for more information about Trisomy 18 so I'm including a few websites for you to check out if you'd like. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edwards_syndrome

http://www.trisomy18.org/site/PageServer?pagename=whatisT18_whatis

I want to emphasize that our baby has not yet been diagnosed with Trisomy 18... the cysts that she has (and specifically the number of them) on her brain are just a red flag for this chromosomal defect. However, we are hanging onto the hope that since so far everything else looks okay, these are just what they call "isolated CPC's" (CPC being Choroid Plexus Cysts). This basically means they are there in the 2nd trimester but have no other purpose or significance. What we know for sure is that the cysts themselves will not harm the baby (no matter what) - they just may be an indicator of the Trisomy 18 defect.

Thank you also for praying for me and my anxiety. I am trying so hard to think positive and to not worry - because I know there is nothing I can do now anyway and God asks us to trust in Him and set our anxiety aside. My husband is much better at not worrying than I am - but I think that it is much harder to ask that of a mother (worrying is our thing, right?). In the meantime, I will try to focus on the following verse that a wonderful friend sent to me:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Will you pray for her?

I have been procrastinating this blog post for a while now. It seems I don't know where to start? I've tried to sit down and type this for a few weeks now... but my heart and my head have never seemed up for the task.
However, I'm feeling the need to put it out there now - to record my feelings so I'm not holding them inside anymore. This leaves me with only one option then - I guess I'll just start typing and see where my thoughts take me.

Let me start at the beginning: I am pregnant again. This will be our third child and I was thrilled to find out I was expecting. I always dreamed of a large family - my mom is one of four children and even though I know her childhood wasn't perfect by any means, somewhere along the way I developed this fantasy that having three brothers and sisters to share your life with would be perfect! I imagined my kids heading up the neighborhood game of flashlight tag, inviting their friends to spend the day at the lake with us, and playing board games together over holiday breaks from college. I can picture the laughter, the competitive spirit, the non-stop conversation and activity that having a large family brings - and it makes me smile. I thought that no matter what they disagreed on, they would always have someone else in their corner and that there would at least be one person they could turn to when the others were ticking them off.

That was my fantasy.
However, I married a man who was happy with only two kids - assuming God blessed us with one of each. Our first child was a girl and our second was a boy, and in Curtis' mind our lives were complete. I didn't feel complete. I felt this calling to be a mother to another child and was praying regularly for God's guidance on the topic. Of course, I wanted Curtis to be happy with having another. I had already given up on my dream of having four and was only hoping that I could convince him to have one more child - should that be God's will for us as parents.

We prayed about it for a month and Curtis, realizing how important it was to me, agreed to place it in God's hands and see what happened. We asked God that if it was His will for us to be parents again that He would bless us with another child, but if it was not His will, that He would prevent it. Well... without going into specifics - we found out we were pregnant and both felt completely secure that this was indeed God's will for our lives. And we were really excited!! We still are...

I am 35 and honestly didn't think much about that number or worry about what it meant. I mean women my age have healthy babies all of the time and I have been blessed with two already. I felt like it was just a number. That is until my 20 week ultrasound when I could tell the Doctor was concerned about something. I have to say that has to be one of the worst feelings in the world: when the Doctor is looking at the ultrasound, but not saying a word... and you sense that something isn't right but you are too afraid to ask. I have been blessed with two previous pregnancies that were both uneventful so I was expecting another clean bill of health.

When the Dr. finally turned to me to tell me what the results of my ultrasound, my heart felt like it was pounding inside my chest. He told me that what he was about to tell me would cause great anxiety inside of me, but could turn out to be nothing at all. He had my attention for sure now. He told me our baby girl has 4 cysts on her brain. They will not harm her in the womb, but they can be a sign of Trisomy 18 - a chromosomal disorder in which the baby has an extra 18th chromosome. You may have heard of Trisomy 21 - better known as Down's Syndrome. Down's Syndrome is actually the best of the Trisomy disorders... at least the baby can survive. With Trisomy 18, the baby will either be stillborn, or be born and only live 1-2 months (1 year at best). The prospects are bleak.

Now, keep in mind, my baby does not necessary have Trisomy 18 - the cysts are just a red flag that causes my doctors to take notice and puts me at high risk. I will go in for another ultrasound at week 28 (I'm 23 weeks now) and they'll look to see if any of the cysts have disappeared... my doctors are hopeful they will. The good news is that they have not found any major birth defects on the baby (as they can tell via ultrasound) yet, so it is possible she just has these cysts and that they are harmless. Of course, that is our prayer right now. Cysts are actually common in 3-4 % of all pregnancies and many turn out to be nothing, but the more cysts the baby has... the bigger a red flag. Four is NOT the number you want in this situation!

The scary part is that I won't truly know if she's healthy until she's born. The cysts going away in themselves (if they even do) doesn't ensure that she's healthy and the other signs they look for may or may not be obvious enough before she arrives for anyone to tell me 100% that she's fine. I could have an amniocentesis to know for sure but the risk of miscarriage concerns me and is too great for my comfort level so I'm not willing to take that chance. Therefore, I wait.

I ask that you all pray for my little girl. Pray that she is healthy. I do not have a name for her yet, as we just found out the sex a few weeks ago (at the same appointment that we found out about the cysts), and I've not been up to thinking about names. As I stated above, I truly believe she was a gift from God and that it was His will that placed her in our lives to begin with so I am trying so hard to trust in that and put all of the fears away. I know that fear comes from Satan and since there is absolutely nothing I can do to change things now... I need to stay positive and focus on my trust in God's will for my life. It just isn't always that easy to do.

I promise to keep you all informed as I continue along this journey over the next 4 months.

Redneck Pool Party

It's summertime! And with that, of course, returns a favorite Georgia pastime - the redneck pool party. Just because we live in a neighborhood that is blessed with a wonderful pool for the kids doesn't mean we moms don't occasionally get lazy and opt for the easier solution to our little one's desires for water. Thankfully, a plastic baby pool from Walmart can certainly fill a need when you're in a pinch.

So, here are some pictures of this momentous event: our first redneck pool party of 2009. Some of our fun neighbors - Carter, Kelsey, and Eva - even joined us (afterall, who could pass this up??). Colby and Carter decided to go all out in true redneck fashion by wearing just a diaper and underroos for the occasion. And Kelsey opted for going topless. Everyone really got into the theme. Thanks for making it so special, guys!

Bike, Daddy, Bike

Colby has a new phrase - and it's almost the only thing he says these days. It's "Bike, Daddy, bike!".
It began when he would watch Paisley ride her bike. He can't reach the pedals yet so Curtis decided to let him ride on his handlebars while Curtis rode SLOWLY along side Paisley. This progressed into Colby's obsession with bikes and riding along with Daddy.

He wakes up in the morning... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"
He sees Curtis pull into the driveway after work... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"
He sees the bike loaded on the back of Curtis's car... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"
He sees a bike on ANYONE else's car... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"
He sees the kids in the neighborhood riding their bikes... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"
He sees a biker riding past us as we walk up Kennesaw Mountain Road together... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"
He hears Curtis's voice on the phone... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"
He sees a red car that looks like Curtis's... "Bike, Daddy, bike!"

You get the picture, right?
It's ALL he thinks about. Well, that and his scooter (which he loves) and balls of any size, shape or kind. Occasionally, he'll get excited about his other toys too - but really he's obsessed with the bike.
Curtis loves it.
One day, the 2 of them will be biking fools together.
But for now... I'm hanging onto his sweet enthusiasm and delight in just riding along with Curtis.
"Bike, Daddy, bike!"

Happy 2nd Birthday, Colby!

Well, it's hard to believe that this time 2 years ago I was STILL in labor and delivery - probably between 9 to 10 centimeters for what seemed like several, long hours (yes, during both of my labors my body decided to take a "pause" between 9 and 9.5 cm for hours - inevitably delaying my arrival at the euphoric 10 cm when I finally got to push the baby out). Despite the immense pain Colby put me through during labor and delivery, the wonderful thing about giving birth is that you are still willing to do it all over again no matter how bad the pain gets. Either that or I'm just crazy - because I'm obviously willing to go through this again (baby #3 is due in October). It would be really nice if I thought my next baby would be kind to me and come easily and on time... but chances are not in my favor for that, considering the last two.

Anyway, onto more important things: Happy Birthday, Colby! The past 2 years have filled me with so much joy and happiness. I love your spirit of adventure and your cautious curiosity towards trying anything that interests you. You are always happy! You love life! Very few things make you fuss or cry. You make everyone who knows you smile - and people actually beg me to babysit you or keep you in the church nursery. Now that is every mother's dream!

At 2 years old, here is what excites you:
You love balls - any size, color or type. You love sports of any kind: basketball, baseball, lacrosse, football, soccer, tennis, golf, biking, etc. If it involves hitting or throwing a ball, then it will be a big hit with you too. You also love your scooter and ride it every day - several times if I'll let you. I can see that there is a little "rule follower" in you though - you always remember to wear your helmet and remind others to wear theirs as well. You are a champ at gymnastics and your coach cannot believe how strong you are in your upper body and core strength. You also have great balance too. Swimming is not your best sport - you love the water but don't like to be on your own in it. (Daddy will work on that with you this summer.) Speaking of Daddy, you love riding on the handlebars of his bike and ask to do it all the time. Just the sight of a bike makes you ask for him. And I can tell how much it saddens you that your legs are not long enough to reach the pedals of Paisley's bike... one day you will reach, little man, and it will be that day, I'm afraid, that will sadden me. You are growing up too quick!

You are a people pleaser. You want to make others happy. Of course, you're only 2... but I see in you a little bit of my uncle Jim. Everyone loves Jim and always has - he always had many friends and was fun to be around. I think you may take after him in that. We'll see... you certainly are an easy child to love and discipline (unless the terrible two's proves me wrong on this point). So far you have been, at least! And you are a quick learner too - you know most of your colors and I can tell you listen to me and Daddy as we teach Paisley so you probably know a lot more than we even realize at this point. You love books - and never hesitate to ask for "more, more" each night before you go to bed. It's hard for me to say no because I know how good they are for you and how much you love them so.

Lastly, you are a big fan of trucks, airplanes, and trains. It helps that we have a train track behind our house and two airports nearby so you get your fill regularly. You love animals too - but for some reason you are afraid of dogs (not our chocolate lab, Ranger, but every other dog seems to fill you with fear). I hope you grow out of that - because your mama loves animals too.

I tell you all of this because I want you to be able to look back one day and know what was important to you at this age. I wish there were enough words to express the joy that having you has given me. I never knew how much I could love my second child, but there really IS enough love in the world for more than one. You are a special little boy - and I'm so glad you're mine. God has richly blessed me with my beautiful children and you, my son, are a true gift from heaven. If this baby I'm carrying is another boy I'll be so happy for you that you have a brother. I know you'll be so good to him and show him the ropes. But if this baby is a girl, I'll be happy too... because that means you'll be my only little boy and you will always be special to me for that reason (and many more!).

I love you, Colby Reese!

I wish I had learned this young...

The sport of skiing. It's fun. It's fast. It's exhilarating.

And, yes it can (at times) be dangerous.

Often a day of skiing leaves you sore, bruised and broke. Yep, that's right - let's not forget what an pricey sport this is as well. (I mean seriously people - have you checked into the cost of lift tickets recently? It's outrageous!) Yet, many people love this sport and insist upon at least one ski vacation a year.

My husband is one of them.

He grew up in the North (y'all will have to forgive this poor southern girl for marrying a "damn yankee") and his parents first placed him on skis when he was only 3 years old. Considering I am an average skier at best - I grew up in Tennessee learning to ski at Ober Gatlinburg (to say this little resort needs snow machines to even exist is an understatement) - I can tell you that my husband is an extraordinary skier. He flies down the mountain with all of the skill and ease that you might see watching a cheetah cross the savannah. He heads off double black diamond slopes with no fear. And he masters any course of his choosing as if he were simply taking a leisurely stroll. It's impressive to watch!

Not me. I am a more conservative skier. Having only learned when I was 12 and being blessed with a considerably more cautious personality - I have never embraced the sport with the same passion he has. Oh, I like it a lot. It's great fun! And I am constantly challenging myself to improve. I love seeing the mountains draped in a veil of snow one moment and then relaxing by a toasty fire the next. So, it wasn't hard for Curtis to convince me to take a ski vacation every year - and seeing as I always wished I was as comfortable on skis as he is, I am absolutely in favor of our kids growing up on skis.

Which brings me to the point of this blog post. Paisley was first on skis when she was 1.5 years old. She didn't do much but go down the bunny slope between her daddy's legs, but hey we got some great photos and video and she can tell everyone she was on skis when she was still a toddler. We put her on skis a year later and she was more confident but still not ready for ski school. But this year... at 3.5 years old she went to ski school every day for a week. It is amazing how quickly they pick this sport up when they are little and unafraid. I can see that she will grow up loving to ski just like her daddy - and she is absolutely the cutest skier that I have ever seen.

I am posting a video of her skiing down the mountain below. Curtis had a harness on her with a leash so he could catch her if she went astray and guide her around sharp turns, etc. The slope we are traversing in the video was a green (which for those of you who don't ski is the easiest slope they have besides the bunny slope), but it did require taking the gondola up to reach it (which means it was pretty high up) and going down it lasted about 45 minutes. Paisley did it with us several times over the course of the week. She sang songs as she went down the mountain and even carried her stuffed puppy dog with her. She skied with more confidence and less fear than many adults we passed on the way down.

Before we had kids, it was always a dream of mine when I saw the little kids skiing down the mountain (usually better than me) that one day I would watch with pride as my kids ski down the slopes too - looking adorable and having great fun. So, this video is literally a dream come true for me (as corny as that sounds). It gave me and Curtis the biggest smile to see her doing so well and having so much fun. Curtis has skied all over the US and Canada, on all level of hills and with tons of friends and family over the course of 34 years... and he said skiing that green level slope with Paisley was the best ski run he's ever had in his whole life.

Note: just so Colby doesn't get left out of this story - he got on skis for the first time at 1.5 years old this year and did great. There is video of him here too. I guess it's inevitable, before too long my kids will be skiing better than I do!

Easter to a 4 year old

Happy Easter, friends. He is risen! I'm so blessed and grateful for my King! Isn't this just a wonderful day! It has always been one of my favorites.

I asked Paisley this afternoon if she remembered what was special about today - of course, we went to church this morning then opened the basket of goodies left by the Easter Bunny (and Nana) afterwards, and she has been learning about it in school for weeks, so there has been plenty of mention of what today is... but I wanted to see how she'd answer me.

She guessed correctly that today was Easter. I asked her what was special about Easter. And this is how she answered.
"Jesus gives us spring bunnies... (pause) and He gave us life too."
Simplistic. Yes.
True. Yes.
Were there some major omissions in her definition? Yes... but in light of what today is really about, I know He understands.

In loving memory...

Sadness lingers in my heart today. My first baby - or at least it felt that way until I actually gave birth to a real baby almost 4 years ago - died this morning. His name was O'Malley and I was blessed to find him just 13 short years ago. I met him at an adoption center at Petsmart and he literally chose me - but it was mutual love at first sight. He was just a teeny thing then - only 6 weeks old. White and grey and the cutest thing I had ever seen. The entire litter was abandoned by their mother and the foster parents had given them musical names. His was Fugue... which we quickly changed to O'Malley (after the Disney flick - the Aristocats) once he was officially mine.

I know many of you reading this probably hate cats. A large number of people I know do - but let me tell you this cat was loving and kind from day one. He was my best bud in many ways - sleeping at the foot of my bed with me (sometimes on the top of my pillow), letting me cry into his fur during sad times and greeting me with happiness after I had been gone. And nothing made him happier than curling up on my lap on the couch late at night while I watched TV.

I feel guilt in many ways... because my marriage interfered with my relationship with O'Malley quite a bit. He and Curtis immediately took a disliking to each other and Curtis forbid him to sleep in bed with us or to get on the couch with me. Looking back, I wish I had fought for his rights a little more but I wanted to keep peace in the house so I assumed it didn't matter that much. Looking back, I am filled with regret about that. Then when my kids came along it became even more difficult for me. There is only so much love a person can give and my husband and kids came first - what was left was for O'Malley... but that wasn't always very much. He stayed in the basement a lot - his choice - but if I had seen him more, I think I would have remembered to love him more. Regrets, regrets... it's hard to look back and see things differently once it's too late.

I know he's just a cat but he was part of my family. He was part of me. I will always cherish the happy memories he brought to my life. I only hope I brought him half as much in return...

Are we strong or just spoiled?

This is the question Beth Moore posed in her "Esther: It's Tough To Be A Woman" study last night and I cannot get it out of my head. She's referring to our faith in God and how it would hold up under tougher circumstances. I am blessed to live in a country where I have freedom of religion and no one is going to persecute me or look down on my for loving Jesus. Oh sure, there are some that will criticize if I come across TOO religious or TOO bible-loving. But overall being a christian in America is a wonderful thing and most will lovingly accept my faith. My girlfriend, Leigh Ann, just returned from a mission trip in India. She met people there who have been ostracized from their family and friends for their faith in Jesus; people whose only "church" to worship in is the shade of a tree out in a field (in 75+ degree weather) but they cherish their time of worship. I know people who won't drive to church in a heated, well-furnished building because it's raining outside that day. Man, we take things for granted in this country, don't we?

How about the story of Job? Satan challenged God that Job was only devoted to Him because God had blessed him (Job) so much. He questioned God: "if you take away what matters to him most, will he still love and worship you or will he curse you instead?" Well, certainly Job showed Satan that his faith was strong and not just spoiled!! God took away everything that mattered to him - his wife, his children, his property and his health... one by one. Yet, Job's faith did not waver. He was devoted and loving to God throughout. How I wished I knew for sure that I was that strong? Of course no one would ever wish to go through any of the following tragedies personally but how I wish I knew if my faith would withstand them. I wish I could be 100% sure that if a gun was put to my head and I was told to deny my faith in God, that I would refuse and instead sing "The Lord's Prayer" as they pulled the trigger - as some of the children did at Columbine. Wouldn't I love to know without a shadow of a doubt that I would stand by God if I lost my entire family tomorrow? I don't even know how you begin to get up off your knees and go on in that situation, but I believe that God would lift me up and hold me until I am strong enough to support myself. And I pray that I would trust in Him to get me through it... I don't know any other option? I feel extremely heartbroken for someone who loses a child... but even more heartbroken for someone in the same position that doesn't know God. Where do they turn? Who carries them when they cannot walk themselves? Who shows them love when they cannot even find all of the pieces of their heart to begin putting it back together? Who heals them - when medicine and worldly cures only make them feel worse inside?

My friend, Shannon, has a close friend who lost a child in her 39th week of pregnancy. The baby was fine one day and then wasn't moving the next. She went in for tests and everything looked alright so they sent her home. They didn't do an ultrasound which might have shown a problem. The next day, no movement again and she went back. There was no heartbeat. Imagine, after years of infertility and miscarriages, carrying a baby 39 weeks inside of you, opting not to induce because you wanted to let the baby come in it's own time, and doing everything right to protect your child... and one mistake by your Dr. that could absolutely have been prevented, and you end up burying your baby before you even get the chance to know who he was! No one should feel that pain. But the woman this happened to did not turn from God. No, she turned TOWARDS God. She prayed more, she believed more, she trusted more and she loved God more. She even asked her friends, and their friends, and their friends, etc. to pray with her... and for her... and most importantly to praise God for His goodness and grace. In your time of sorrow and loneliness, can you say that you would do the same? I don't know if I could. Well, happily her faith has been rewarded and she is due to have a baby in September. She has been rewarded for her faith and love... just as God rewarded Job.

I personally am going to pray for more strength and more devotion. That no matter what comes my way, my faith will stay strong. I cannot imagine losing my health, my husband, or my children - but I know that without God... I have nothing and I must keep that relationship strong so that when this world lets me down, I can lean on His love and His grace to carry me through.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. "(Deuteronomy 31:6)

God - the most handsomest prince of all!

Paisley just came up to me and asked if she could tell me a story. "Of course" was my reply. I asked her what the story was about?
She said "Heaven."
This got my complete attention. I was curious what she would say about heaven so I listened carefully.
The story began this way, "I went to Heaven this morning. And when I got there, I saw a big beautiful mirror. And God asked me to look into the mirror and tell Him what I saw. So I looked and I saw God in the mirror."
I said "Wow, you saw God? What did He look like?"
Paisley took my face in her hands and looked me dead in the eyes as she said "Mama, He is the most handsomest prince of all!"
This made my heart smile.
"So what happened next?" I asked.
Paisley continued, "Then God looked in the mirror. He looked very carefully and He smiled, and then everything was beautiful just like Him... (pause) (big smile - for both of us) and we ALL lived happily ever after!"

I don't mean to insert too much meaning in my child's sweet story but I sure do like that God is her "most handsomest prince of all" and that she "lived happily ever after" in heaven with Him. Since the day she was born, my greatest two hopes for her would be that she'd love the Lord with all of her heart and that she'd find a wonderful man to grow old with one day. I don't know what qualities she'll look for in a man when she grows up - but if she holds onto this standard, I know she'll be just fine!

Stories (of all kinds)

Paisley loves stories. We always read 10-20 minutes of books to her before bedtime every night. After that, she'll ask whoever puts her to bed to tell her (at least) one story. She usually dictates who the major characters are and sometimes what they are doing... but she always wants you to create the main plot of the story line. One night as I was listening as Curtis put her to bed, she asked him to tell her a story about how we met. He told her our story and did a really great job in doing so (considering we met in a bar - which is NOT how either of us wanted to meet our soul mate - he smoothed over that part of the story very nicely). I was teary eyed listening to him. It's one of those "Hallmark commercial" moments... and I loved it.

The other day her babysitter, Raz, was putting her to bed. She read her several different books and told her several stories, and after some time she finally told Paisley it was time to go to sleep. Paisley said to Raz "Please Ms. Raz - just one more." Raz thought for a moment and replied "Alright, just one more." She picked up a book and began to read to her.

Paisley quickly interrupted her.
"No, Ms. Raz... not like that.... I want you to read me a book from your mouth."
:-)

The many costumes of Colby (remember he DOES have an older sister!!)

Colby loves to dress up like Paisley and Mama. He spends 75% of his time with women so keep that in mind as you look over these pictures. At least we know he's in touch with his more feminine side... I'm hoping this will make him a more sensitive husband one day. :-)