Itty Bitty Perceptions (in the eyes of our children)

So... apparently, our children think that Curtis and I do not work. It's actually mostly true for me - I am a stay-at-home mom so I do not go to a conventional job everyday. Curtis, on the other hand, has a great job but his company is between products to sell so he has been blessed with a flexible schedule that has allowed him to spend more time playing than working this summer. The 2 conversations below show Paisley and Colby's perceptions of "work", most likely based on observations over the past few months.

Curtis: "Paisley, would you like to go to work with me one day?"
Paisley: "That's silly, Daddy. Don't you know that girls don't work??"

--------

Colby: "Mama, where's my Daddy?"
Lisa: "He's working."
Colby: ""Is Daddy golfing while working?"
Lisa: "No, Colby. Daddy doesn't play golf for a living... he works at a computer and talks to people on the telephone all day long."

Sorry to disappoint them both. And believe it or not, I never told Paisley that women don't work. I actually have no idea what gave her that idea!

Hope you have a wonderful day today!

Paisley's "Fancy Nancy" birthday party

Better late than never - here is a recap of Paisley's 4th birthday party:

This year for her birthday Paisley decided to do a "Fancy Nancy" themed party. She loves to dress-up and get her nails painted so this seemed very appropriate. I decided to do the invitations myself, and they really turned out cute. Thank goodness she cooperated for a picture.
Each little girl was invited to "dress fancy" and then they were treated to manicures and fun hairdos so they would feel really special. They ended the party with a runway show for all of the parents - it was so adorable. I printed out a Fancy Nancy autograph sheet and they all signed their names to it. I think I'll put it in a scrapbook or frame it for Paisley so she can remember who came to her party.

They had cupcakes and parfait with sprinkles on top for their treats... and drank pink lemonade out of teapots and tea cups.

Party favors consisted of these little tin purses with each little girls name on it - stuffed with a pink and purple boa, a posh pampering set (i.e. nail polish, lip gloss, a file and some purple Q-tips), and some fancy candy.

Here is a picture of all the little girls after the runway show - dressed all fancy. The next picture is of Paisley and her best friend, Kiira (a very fancy girl indeed).

Next is a picture of Paisley with her good friend, Riley; and finally, it was time to hug goodbye.
What a fun party!!

3D Ultrasound - the miracle of technology!

I had a 3D ultrasound of our sweet babygirl today. She reminds me of Colby because she loves to lay her head on my placenta like a pillow - and Colby did that for his 3D ultrasound too. She was sucking on her feet and hands so I think she'll be into paci's too. And these pictures remind me of Paisley and Colby's 3D ultrasound pictures - so maybe she'll look like her older brother and sister. Paisley asked me "Why is she so dark?"... hard to explain ultrasound technology to a 4 year old. I just told her it was dark inside mama's belly. She said we should get some light in there so she isn't afraid of the dark. Cute!

Check out the pics and decide for yourself. The first one below is a close-up of her little foot.

And in this last picture below - one of her hands is beside her face (on the left of the picture) and you can see her little fingers spread out. The other arm is going across her mouth like she's trying to clasp her hands together. So cute!!

Happy 4th Birthday, Paisley!

I'm a little late in writing this (37 days to be exact) but better late than never, right? I try to write a letter to each of my children on their birthday as part of my gift to them. It's my way of sharing who they are and how I feel as I watch them grow each year. So, this letter is in honor of Paisley's fourth birthday.

Dear Paisley,
Happy 4th birthday, sweet pea. I am amazed every day when I think about the fact that I have a 4 year old now. Has it really been that long? It seems so recent that I was holding you for the first time and I can still remember vividly how in love I was with you the first time I laid eyes on you. I can tell you one thing: my love for you has only grown stronger over the years.

I'd like to tell you a little about yourself at age 4:
First of all, you are such a bright light to so many that know you. Your teacher last year told me that if you ever went missing, I could find you at her house. She loved your sweet spirit so much - and so do your Daddy and I. All of the kids in your class were given an award at the end of the year - and your award was "Miss Generous". She said that you are always willing to help others and give a generous word. The other teachers in your preschool hut all know you well because you always had a compliment for them as you'd wait in the carpool line (i.e. "I love your hair today." "Blue looks really pretty on you."). You have made me smile so many times by hugging me and telling me what a pretty smile I have or that you love the way I wear my hair. I hope you never lose that sweetness of spirit.

You are also strong-willed. You march to the beat of your own drum and no one tells you otherwise. No one is going to convince you of something if you don't want to believe it. You are a perfectionist and will throw something away or destroy it in frustration if it is not exactly right or how you pictured it. You love to draw and paint - and Nana and I think you are quite the artist. We may be biased but you really are pretty artistic for your age. You sing all of the time. You love to sing in the car (in fact, we play the same VBS CD every day and you never get tired of it), on the potty, at dinner, while you are playing or drawing, etc. You even make up your own words sometimes.

You are so close to reading - and can actually sound out quite a few words already. It's very cool to watch. I know it's just a matter of time before you are reading books to me (instead of me reading to you). Your favorite books lately are "The Giving Tree", "Once I ate a Pie", "Fancy Nancy" (any of them), and a Usborne collection of children's bible stories we have. You still love to learn and pick up on things so quickly. I hope that is one quality that you do not outgrow.

You take gymnastics, swimming and soccer. I am sure you get your athletic capabilities from your dad! Our hope is not that you are the best but that you love being active because it will keep you healthy and strong all of your life. I'd love for you to take dance lessons one day but we'll wait a little while for that. I don't think you're ready for something so structured. (In fact, when you played soccer last year - it was all I could do to get you to participate... you'd rather do your own thing).

You love to cook with me, Nana and Grandma. And you love to play dress-up: both with your friends and with your dolls. If you are not dressed up like Cinderella or Ariel, then you are in your flannel pajamas (no matter how hot it is outside) with your fuzzy socks on. You crack me up!

Some of the things I love best about you are how you love to hold my hand and cuddle. You ask me to sleep with you every night, and even though I don't... I secretly wish that I could. I love that you watch how I do things and you try to do them exactly the same way. You are very excited to be a big sister again - you knew I was carrying a baby girl from the very beginning and you love to share it with everyone. You rub my belly and talk to her all of the time. You tell everyone that your baby sister will be here in "Octember" (we're working on not merging October and November together). You are already so helpful with Colby. You really love him and play with him well (it wasn't always this way but you have blossomed into a wonderful, loving, protective big sister), I can't wait to see you with your baby sister!!

Paisley, I just love you so much. I want you to know that you make me happy every day when your sweet voice wakes me up. I love our time together when we make your bed, put together a puzzle, or sing and dance. You are a special young lady and I'm so proud that you are mine. I love you with all of my heart, babygirl!
Happy 4th birthday!

From the mouths of babes!

Just a few fun things Paisley has said recently:

1) When you ask her how old she is now, she'll hold up 4 fingers and say "four". After a short pause, she'll hold up all 5 fingers and say "And next year, I'll be a whole hand."

2) My mom (Nana) was telling her a story the other day and Paisley said she wanted the plot to be about them swimming together. Nana said "Paisley we haven't been swimming together very much - I don't have any stories about that" to which Paisley replied "Silly Nana, stories don't have to be real. Don't you know that?"

3) Some friends of ours were visiting us the other day and she was holding her doll, Allison, while talking to them. My friend, Bethany, inquired about Allison.
Is she Paisley's best friend? "Yes, she is." Paisley replied.
Would she be eating lunch with us? "Yes" again.
Would she be going swimming with us after lunch? Another "yes".
And lastly, does she wear sunscreen too? To which Paisley very plainly stated, "No, she doesn't wear sunscreen - she's not real, she's just a doll."
(Duh, Mrs. Bethany - couldn't you tell? haha)

4) Paisley has a skirt that she got for her birthday and she likes to wear it as a strapless dress (see picture below). I keep telling her it's a skirt, but she doesn't seem to care. Today, she put it on and I informed her again that it was a skirt - not a strapless dress. (Might I also add here that it falls down all of the time because she doesn't have the "chest" to hold it up.) Anyway, as I was pointing out to her that it was really a skirt and she shouldn't wear it the way she was wearing it because it didn't fit her - she said, but Mrs. Megan wears it this way. My friend Megan lives near us, but I was racking my brain to remember when she has seen her wear a strapless dress. I feel like it's been weeks and weeks ago. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes... she wears one that goes to her toes and it has a bow on the front just like mine. Suddenly, I remembered that Megan does have a strapless dress that is floor-length that she occasionally wears. I was musing over how good Paisley's memory was when she asked me... "How does Mrs. Megan keep her skirt up? How does she keep it from falling down like mine does?" Hmmm... perhaps that's another discussion for another day.

Update on the baby

Well, we had our follow-up ultrasound this morning and we want to thank everyone for their prayers and support along the past 8 weeks. We are praising God right now because all 4 of her cysts have disappeared and she was measuring the correct weight and size for her due date. Also, there did NOT appear to be any abnormalities at all - so as far as we know she is perfectly healthy!! SUCH wonderful news!! We cannot thank you enough for all of your prayers over both our anxiety and her health. We are so excited to know that she has finally been given a clean bill of health (of course, the Dr. reminded me that there are no guarantees but we feel secure with it now). I no longer need to see the high risk Doctor assuming all continues to go well. Yeah! I feel such a huge relief off my shoulders now. And every kick inside of me feels so much better than even yesterday's did.

On a side note, while we were there we did ask them to confirm that she is indeed a girl and they said that they are 99.99% sure she is - so it looks like Paisley and Colby will definitely have a baby sister.

Guess that's all I have to update today.
Have a blessed day!

Freedom is bittersweet

Today, the kids went to visit my parents for 5 days. As liberating as it is to have some time to myself, I still found myself overcome with sadness as I watched them drive away. I'm so used to having them around every day that I don't really know what to do with myself... at least when it comes to days of unlimited free time.

At 28 weeks pregnant, I am feeling the "nesting" urge a little bit so I imagine I'll be knocking out some projects I've been dying to do and hopefully get some exercise in as well. But, as I write this, it still feels like the house is too quiet and peaceful right now, almost eerie in a way. I guess the chaos really does grow on you after a while.

No sense procrastinating... as much as I love blogging, I should go get started on some of my home projects. No time like the present, and besides... before I know it, they will be back here destroying the (currently clean) playroom, wanting me to hold them both as I try to make dinner, demanding my attention while I'm on the phone or computer, and fighting over who gets the blue popsicle.

Ah, life is good!

Lance Armstrong - watch out!

This morning, Curtis took Paisley to get a new bike. She has outgrown her "beginner's bike" and Colby is now riding it (yes, complete with pink and purple paint, a girly basket, a princess bell and some pom-pom fringe on the handlebars!). Don't worry, he'll get a more masculine bike one of these days!

As much as I had hoped she pick another girly one - I could not have been more wrong. Curtis, on the other hand, hoped for a cute red bike... which would have been better than the one she chose, but no, Paisley had her own ideas (surprise, surprise). She decided that she wanted an orange bike that looks like it's meant for mountain trails and dirt biking - not taking your Itty Bitty Twin dolls for a leisurely afternoon ride up and down the street. As much of a TN Vols fan as I am - even the orange paint bothered me. It just looks like a little boys bike - there is nothing feminine about it. But hey, it is her bike and that's the one she chose. What's important is that she's happy and willing to move to a bike with no training wheels - this is a big day in our family.

The most exciting thing is that she actually came home and rode it without training wheels all by herself - several times. It was truly a momentous occasion in our household. Even some of the neighbors came out to cheer her on! Sure, she was tipsy at times and Curtis ran beside her like a good dad to catch her if she fell... but she did it. She balanced on two wheels all by herself. I was so proud of her - she did really great. With a little practice, I imagine she won't even need Curtis along side for backup much longer.

Great job, Paisley!

Gratitude Wednesday

Tonight, as I prepare to lay my head down to sleep, I am so grateful to God for the following 5 things:

1. Cousins - my brother and I were the oldest of all of my cousins by quite a few years, and we lived a good distance away from them as well... so I never knew the luxury of growing up with cousins to play with all of the time and share adventures, stories and friends, etc. like many children get to experience. Well, earlier tonight I sat back at the pool and smiled as I watched my children play with their cousins who live only a few miles away and are literally 1 year apart in age. I feel sure that they will grow up loving each other, going to concerts, having sleepovers, sharing friends, going on family vacations together, learning from one another, and yes, probably even getting into trouble. I thank God that they will get to have those experiences. What a blessing to be so close in age and only a few miles away.

2. Baby kicks - this baby girl inside of me kicks up a storm. I can't say for sure if she is my most active (Colby was quite a kicker in the womb too) but she is definitely in the running. Maybe it's because she's running out of room, but I feel like she does somersaults in my belly all day long! Whew - she may not be tired, but it exhausts me just thinking about it. She actually kicked me so hard last night that the remote control sitting on my belly popped up in the air and fell to the ground. Still, it is reassuring to feel her so much and be reminded that she's always with me!

3. Beautiful morning walks - I get an hour each morning to myself to take a walk and it's been so beautiful outside. It hasn't been too hot and I've really enjoyed my unusually pleasant July morning walks (normally, July in Atlanta is sweltering even by 8 am).

4. Peaches & Cherries - It's that time of year (and it only comes for a few months) where peaches and cherries are at their best. I'm sure my grocery bag boy thinks I'm nuts when he sees the amount of each that I buy each week... but I have to enjoy them while I can! I think I ate 8 peaches and a whole bag of cherries for snack today - that might be a little overkill, but it's healthier than chips, right?

5. My kids & bedtime - I should knock on some wood as I type this, but I feel so blessed that my kids go to bed every night with no fuss. I hear stories of kids who come out of their rooms a million times asking for water, stuffed animals, whatever they can think of, etc. and tonight after I put them both down and it was quiet almost immediately, I thought how lucky I am that they don't do that. They truly go to bed almost immediately and with no problem every night. I don't know if we did something right or if we are just blessed... but for now, I will just enjoy it and hope it stays this way.

Sleep tight everyone and be sure to thank God for at least 5 of your many blessings before you do!

Happy Birthday to Us!

Our family got a new toy in honor of my birthday! Lots of people in our neighborhood have golf carts for going to the pool, tennis courts, dinner at a neighbor's house, etc. It's so fun! Anyway, above is a picture of ours - the kids and I loaded up for the pool as soon as it arrived.

Also this week, we had a low-key family celebration for Paisley's birthday with the ceremonial cupcake in blue icing (her favorite color). Her party is this upcoming weekend so we'll do it bigger then. Besides, she thinks the golf cart is her gift too! :-)

Happy Birthday to us!

Good lab results!

I went to the doctor yesterday (just my regular prenatal check-up). It was time for my glucose screening test to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. The nurse just called and all of my results were normal - no diabetes and no anemia. That's good news. I can't imagine having to be on a sugar-free diet while pregnant - that seems so cruel! 

My next appointment is July 24th. I will see both of my doctors that day - the perinatologist will do a follow-up ultrasound to monitor the cysts that the baby has on her brain (and hopefully they will have disappeared or reduced in number), and afterwards my regular OB will do my normal prenatal check-up and discuss my results. 

Then I will start going every 2 weeks for a check-up until 36 weeks when I'll go once a week. Not sure how often I'll continue to see the perinatologist, but I'll know more after the 24th. Between the kids dental/ doctor/ etc. appointments and mine, it feels like I might be living in the doctor's office for the next few months. (sigh)

Third trimester - here I come!

Fun on the Fourth

We had a great Fourth of July! Paisley was in her first parade - they were the Mighty Martians. Daddy went along for moral support.

Colby was too young to be in the clubs so he wasn't able to participate but he loved watching everything from Nana's lap.
 

Hope your fourth was delightful too!

All Things American

With the 4th of July approaching, I can't help but be excited! I love all things related to this patriotic holiday! As a child, I welcomed the fourth of July most summers at my granddad's cabin in the mountains in NC. This small community has celebrated this day in good ol' homespun fun for years. The morning begins at 7 am with a community 5k. This is followed by a rinky dink parade that is loads of fun for the kids (most of the parade participants are retired senior citizen residents and their families, children and counselors that are there for the summer camp program, the local veterans association, the Presbyterian bagpipe association, random walkers and, of course, the fire department). Everyone in the parade is dressed in their all-american attire, waving their US flags and throwing handfuls of candy to the delight of all the children watching this lovable spectacle. The parade is followed by a BBQ picnic for the whole town, a greased pole climbing contest, 3-legged races, paddle boats and canoe rentals on the lake, family reunions, and much, much more! The evening is topped by a square dance held under the moonlight on the tennis courts - the whole town comes out and either dances or socializes - and it's undoubtedly my favorite event of the day! Lastly, if your kids are old enough, you can head 10 minutes to the next town over to watch a fireworks display over the water. 

It really is dinky but I wouldn't miss it for the world! I have such fond memories of coming up for this each year during my childhood... that I have dreamt about the day my kids would get to form their own happy memories surrounding this holiday in NC, too. This won't be their first year doing this but at 4 years old, I expect Paisley to take great delight and enjoyment in it all more than before.

Anyway, to celebrate this patriotic holiday, I've decided to make a list of all things american. Feel free to add other great american things I may have missed in the comment section:

The Grand Canyon

The Great Smokies

Baseball

College Football

Tailgating

An old chevy truck

Cowboy boots

Stars & stripes

Marilyn Monroe

Hollywood

Apple Pie

Elvis Presley

Rock & Roll

Faded Jeans

State fairs

Big Red chewing gum

Hot dogs

Michael Jackson

Roller Coasters

Fried Chicken

Independence

Happy Fourth of July all!

 

More about Trisomy 18

Thank you for all of your kind thoughts and prayers for our baby girl (we will name her eventually, I promise!). It has meant so much to me to know that her health is being lifted up to the Lord by so many friends. I know that God hears every one of your prayers on her behalf and He above all can protect her and love her better than any of us can here on earth.

Several of you have asked for more information about Trisomy 18 so I'm including a few websites for you to check out if you'd like. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edwards_syndrome

http://www.trisomy18.org/site/PageServer?pagename=whatisT18_whatis

I want to emphasize that our baby has not yet been diagnosed with Trisomy 18... the cysts that she has (and specifically the number of them) on her brain are just a red flag for this chromosomal defect. However, we are hanging onto the hope that since so far everything else looks okay, these are just what they call "isolated CPC's" (CPC being Choroid Plexus Cysts). This basically means they are there in the 2nd trimester but have no other purpose or significance. What we know for sure is that the cysts themselves will not harm the baby (no matter what) - they just may be an indicator of the Trisomy 18 defect.

Thank you also for praying for me and my anxiety. I am trying so hard to think positive and to not worry - because I know there is nothing I can do now anyway and God asks us to trust in Him and set our anxiety aside. My husband is much better at not worrying than I am - but I think that it is much harder to ask that of a mother (worrying is our thing, right?). In the meantime, I will try to focus on the following verse that a wonderful friend sent to me:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Will you pray for her?

I have been procrastinating this blog post for a while now. It seems I don't know where to start? I've tried to sit down and type this for a few weeks now... but my heart and my head have never seemed up for the task.
However, I'm feeling the need to put it out there now - to record my feelings so I'm not holding them inside anymore. This leaves me with only one option then - I guess I'll just start typing and see where my thoughts take me.

Let me start at the beginning: I am pregnant again. This will be our third child and I was thrilled to find out I was expecting. I always dreamed of a large family - my mom is one of four children and even though I know her childhood wasn't perfect by any means, somewhere along the way I developed this fantasy that having three brothers and sisters to share your life with would be perfect! I imagined my kids heading up the neighborhood game of flashlight tag, inviting their friends to spend the day at the lake with us, and playing board games together over holiday breaks from college. I can picture the laughter, the competitive spirit, the non-stop conversation and activity that having a large family brings - and it makes me smile. I thought that no matter what they disagreed on, they would always have someone else in their corner and that there would at least be one person they could turn to when the others were ticking them off.

That was my fantasy.
However, I married a man who was happy with only two kids - assuming God blessed us with one of each. Our first child was a girl and our second was a boy, and in Curtis' mind our lives were complete. I didn't feel complete. I felt this calling to be a mother to another child and was praying regularly for God's guidance on the topic. Of course, I wanted Curtis to be happy with having another. I had already given up on my dream of having four and was only hoping that I could convince him to have one more child - should that be God's will for us as parents.

We prayed about it for a month and Curtis, realizing how important it was to me, agreed to place it in God's hands and see what happened. We asked God that if it was His will for us to be parents again that He would bless us with another child, but if it was not His will, that He would prevent it. Well... without going into specifics - we found out we were pregnant and both felt completely secure that this was indeed God's will for our lives. And we were really excited!! We still are...

I am 35 and honestly didn't think much about that number or worry about what it meant. I mean women my age have healthy babies all of the time and I have been blessed with two already. I felt like it was just a number. That is until my 20 week ultrasound when I could tell the Doctor was concerned about something. I have to say that has to be one of the worst feelings in the world: when the Doctor is looking at the ultrasound, but not saying a word... and you sense that something isn't right but you are too afraid to ask. I have been blessed with two previous pregnancies that were both uneventful so I was expecting another clean bill of health.

When the Dr. finally turned to me to tell me what the results of my ultrasound, my heart felt like it was pounding inside my chest. He told me that what he was about to tell me would cause great anxiety inside of me, but could turn out to be nothing at all. He had my attention for sure now. He told me our baby girl has 4 cysts on her brain. They will not harm her in the womb, but they can be a sign of Trisomy 18 - a chromosomal disorder in which the baby has an extra 18th chromosome. You may have heard of Trisomy 21 - better known as Down's Syndrome. Down's Syndrome is actually the best of the Trisomy disorders... at least the baby can survive. With Trisomy 18, the baby will either be stillborn, or be born and only live 1-2 months (1 year at best). The prospects are bleak.

Now, keep in mind, my baby does not necessary have Trisomy 18 - the cysts are just a red flag that causes my doctors to take notice and puts me at high risk. I will go in for another ultrasound at week 28 (I'm 23 weeks now) and they'll look to see if any of the cysts have disappeared... my doctors are hopeful they will. The good news is that they have not found any major birth defects on the baby (as they can tell via ultrasound) yet, so it is possible she just has these cysts and that they are harmless. Of course, that is our prayer right now. Cysts are actually common in 3-4 % of all pregnancies and many turn out to be nothing, but the more cysts the baby has... the bigger a red flag. Four is NOT the number you want in this situation!

The scary part is that I won't truly know if she's healthy until she's born. The cysts going away in themselves (if they even do) doesn't ensure that she's healthy and the other signs they look for may or may not be obvious enough before she arrives for anyone to tell me 100% that she's fine. I could have an amniocentesis to know for sure but the risk of miscarriage concerns me and is too great for my comfort level so I'm not willing to take that chance. Therefore, I wait.

I ask that you all pray for my little girl. Pray that she is healthy. I do not have a name for her yet, as we just found out the sex a few weeks ago (at the same appointment that we found out about the cysts), and I've not been up to thinking about names. As I stated above, I truly believe she was a gift from God and that it was His will that placed her in our lives to begin with so I am trying so hard to trust in that and put all of the fears away. I know that fear comes from Satan and since there is absolutely nothing I can do to change things now... I need to stay positive and focus on my trust in God's will for my life. It just isn't always that easy to do.

I promise to keep you all informed as I continue along this journey over the next 4 months.